“Mushrooms”

I don’t quite have a picture that does it justice but quite possibly my favorite meal of 2020 was this well ass mushroom Wellington I had for Christmas. I can’t wait to try out another wellington recipe.

“Taking Responsibility for your actions when you were being a bad human”

This is on You. Do it on your own time. Start with forgiving yourself. So even if the offend parties don’t forgive you, you’re still able to move on with your life.

Analyze yourself. If your plan is to learn from your mistakes then do that. It takes time and I’m sure its something we all can do. Shoot I’m still learning and applying this to my everyday life.

Hold yourself accountable. Promise yourself to be different. And when you fail hold yourself to that failure. We all get upset and fall short and disappoint sometimes.

But also what is a “bad human”. Is reacting based on your emotions “bad”? Is lashing out at someone when they might not even be the reason your upset “bad”? Is not wanting to deal with other people’s bs “bad”?

I don’t think so. Humans are flawed. And emotional. And the best thing is, everyday is a new slate to step up and grow from the previous one. No mater how hard it might seem.

“The Void”

I don’t think I’ll ever do justice trying to explain the emptiness the void brings . Especially when everyone’s experience with it is bound to be vastly different.

“Broken Mirrors”

Stick a sticky note on your mirror telling yourself you are gorgeous. Read it aloud everyday. Maybe the reading and speaking will manifest self confidence. Rewire the brain to believe that you are gorgeous.

I plan to try this in 2021 for a month. Every morning before work. Join me

“Whole Hearts”

It is hard to see

I whole heartedly believe

Love is the Answer.

“Regression”

I fall back into old ways quite often. Many things I’m not proud of.

Unhealthy ways.

Unappealing.

Sad.

And there’s levels to that.

Deep dives and shallows splashes.

Retracing steps along a trouble path just because.

Or just feeling the coldness take over so I might not even care to keep moving forward.

But catching yourself and constantly moving is a part of Progression.

And I know…

Healing can happen for us.

The sun kissed gods and goddesses.

Progression can be our 2021.

If you’ve come this far. Comment below anything you’d like to see me write on. Or express in 2021. Bless

~comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness.

“I can see it all over your face it’s just one of those days right? Well kid we all have them just keep your head up and get through.”

-Elder Stranger

Those are the kind of interactions that normally sit unwell with my soul.

Maybe it’s because I don’t think you can truly judge how I feel based on looking at my appearance.

And even if you could it’s not in your right to tell me how to feel about how I’m actually feeling.

I hate a “Cheer up” or “You never smile” type person.

Maybe I’m just chilling.

Nonchalantness is the face I wear quite often you know?

But today I’ll take those quoted words above and use them as a token that everything’s okay.

A quick jolt of enthusiasm on a day I actually was feeling quite defeated.

Monotony getting the best of me.

A ray of light in a bleak moment.

And think back to how 3 years ago I kept telling myself how I planned to spread positivity is as many human interactions as I can possibly muster.

I’ll get back to that. I’ll get back to me. Or forward to me. Applying the lesson I’ve learned. Reach that peace I’m sure is right around d corner.

Idk

Bless

I hope the times get easier
We’re so high up in the clouds
We’re straddling the ether.
Depression written all over my personality
It’s hard to beat.
Days numbered theres gotta be a better path for me.

Either way we “living off borrowed time”
that’s word to Dumile.
That’s word to the truest villain
Who’s diverse words we would spray.
Singing along a ASK radio feature
From bermuda to malay.
You brought joy.

Just know if you come first you still after me
Done following the societal recipe
Disaster waiting if I continue down that path you see.

My peace of mind is getting harder
To find.
Happiness is harder to define.
I’m Further behind
Than I intended to be.

My chakra’s aligning.
Sun shining.
Sitting here drawing it in.
To brighten my days.
My head throbbing
My hearts rowdy.
Breaking out my frightening ways.

I Don’t bring enough to the table.
But I’ve been learning the proper etiquette
That’s me constantly becoming a better fit.
Weird and strange became my epithet.
Take your breaks from the internet.
Because blindly believing what you read will lead to crumbling of the parapet around your mind.

Learning to take my time.
To climb.
To walk towards excellence with every stride.
Still planning to put the depression past where my mind can find it.

Healing is what we reaching for.
Just gotta keep my soul in tact.
Be prepared for war 
When the demons that haunt me decide to finally attack.

They remind me where I lack.
And I strengthen that to its core.
I'm always ready to step up and give you more.


At the drop of the hat you’d see me change from being nonchalant,
To a legend in the making.
But don't get it mistaken
If my words fail I could be quick to let my fist hit your face.
Trying to move past that.
I'm still a work in progress
But I'm not here to quit.

Trying to perfect my pen's craft.
Trying to find my purpose and make that last.
Cant hold your mistakes against you,
or hold you to you past.

Cause I mess up to. 
And with the internet that shit is everlasting.

Forgive me if I've wronged you
Cause in the end
We just gotta move
2021 I plan to no longer feel defeated 
But to walk to a different groove.

Cause what goes around is what you will receive back in due,
Time.
Reciprocity or Karma
Free your soul and mind. 

Wondering what I'm here for?
Just know

If your mind is against you.
Then sharpen it dearly
To cut through the bullshit
That's haunting you yearly. 
The devil that's been whispering in ya ear
Telling you the shit you never wanted to hear.
Or maybe you did.

“Might’ve drove me to losing my mind
Like an angry parent in the bleachers
Or a lost soul that's underachieving.
Lost track of my sole like wearing worn out sneakers
Sneaking a peek in my divination reading
Maybe I can find a prophecy like Trelawney is my teacher" 

Move and grow

Alll 2021

Exploring you inner mind,
That’s where I find you.
Exploring our hopes and dreams,
We should find time to.
Grow, Learn and Live
If I could define you
This is love, passion and fear.
But it’s just times two.

The universe aligned us.
Silence my mind,
To find the trust that I lost
And I though I had left behind


Hope my soul can find the silver lining
In the times,
Where it’s easier to let my time drift
Than to stick with it.

I should practice what I preach
And stop being a hypocrite.

In this Life shit I hope to find solace.
Move the depression past where my mind can even find it.
Or fathom.
The world is at my fingertips,
And yes the pen's my weapon.
And you know that I am feeling it.
You know that I am shining.
Pressure would either make you burst or 
Turn you into diamonds.

Take flight like Bessie Coleman
This the groove in your soul
The feeling when you're low
And finally figure out where you're going.


Healing the places we lost touch with long ago
Its like a leap a faith,
to try and find a good mind space.
Feeling like ya stomach's plummeting 
And your heart cant keep pace

My spirit is tangled with the dread and hate
That was cause by lying.
Hold on to what's important
To me that's
Family, My love , 
And just the purpose I gotta find.


Melanin
Letting them know I'm black and I'm proud
As the deadly sin.
Escanor.

Nothing left's worth waiting for.
So in 2021 I'm grabbing the bull by the horns.

Keep my Soles planted

So my soul can be planted.

Deep rooted in the ground.

Cause I’m sure thats how you find the answers.

Wish I could be lost in the mountains.

The cool breeze making me feel alive.

Unpack the trauma I had packed on the shelf, mounted.

Smile plastered on my face as a disguise,

And I’m counting.

The days.

My soul changes as the seasons sway.

The colder it gets,

The more I strip back and reflect.

Think on all the damage I caused,

Feels like I crumbling more than the unbalanced Jenga I stacked.

At any moment life could swallow me

Like the coldest of depths.

Drag my depression down with me

And drown it in the Mariana Trench.

Been tighter than Hornes’ grip

Or king snakes constriction

Keep shining. Always proud to be black.

The pressure made it easier to keep it all in .

But the Emotions gotta flow.

Gotta stop keeping em in.

The lunar pull was hella strong

Dragging my mind through the cosmos.

Refining what I think I know.

Because this is the end game

We dancing in the end zone.

25.

As my 26 th year of life comes to close. I’m happy to still be in here.

During these last 8 or so years I’ve learned quite a bit about myself. Trying to figure out what works for me and what doesn’t. I still haven’t been able to find my “purpose” but I’m sure one day I’ll get it. What I’m here to do.

This year has been strange.

The year I’ve had the most “time” for myself in recent years. Has been the year I’ve made the least amount of time to actually connect with myself.

The year I’ve moved away from the ritualistic things that were forming me.

How I long to sit on Darrell’s Island in front of a fire.

The peace that meets me there.

The yearly opportunity I gain to let the fire capture me. As we become one. Not worried to dodge the smoke and my pupils and the flames become dancing partners.

Something within the fire takes a portion of my problems.

And holds them there for me.

Until it dies down.

Remind me that even though we might burn out another flame can always rise. Or that through the ashes new life can form.

And that was me. Slowly letting go of pieces of my past. Burning them. Losing them to the ashes. Coming out the other side a newer me.

With newer peace.

Shared Burdens.

New friendships. Because sometimes around a fire you talk too much. Or listen too much. Or barely listening at all as your mind drifts through the starry skies. Or you stare onto the fire. Wondering how amazed the first humans must’ve been to come across such a phenomenon.

I imagine in a past life I was on the battlefield. Fighting my demons wielding Light-bringer or some ish.

We Inchea.

I need some divine intervention

My mind is instrumental in my demise

My heart and soul are growing tired

I’m cutting ties

With anything that limits my climb.

I’m just finding my stride

but i should be writing

it’s kinda sickening

I’ve been moving on my own time.

This is a piece of my peace of mind .

A piece of my crumbling life

Mending through time.

Lies Meddling,

They damage what’s right.

Aligning with nature’s good vibes

Craving more than then everyday paradigm.

Every moment in time.

Is energy gained, lost, or left behind.

We’re all intertwined.

It’ll be fine.

As long as I can stop racing and pacing

To things that’ll never leave me behind.

If I could be free

Embrace all the drafts you bring

As they craft my wings

Subtexts: I’m going to be doing another multi part series here. Just so I can force myself to be consistent with my writing this week. Bless.

Broken Paradise

Surely not what we once knew

Bermuda’s Lost too