These are the times I’m needing you most. 
Late nights my heart longs for connection. 
You the most beautiful of souls,
with a plethora of talents.
You’re gonna shine through this life,
nothing your soul couldn’t manage. 

I Want you like a flower opens its petals.
everyday in search of the light you provide.
you are my light.
both ways.
you are my life.
and it ain’t no game.

With you things just seem a little be easier and pleasant. 
You the Queen and I’m the peasant. 
I’d live to raise you up and bask in your presence. 
I believe we raise each other from the most toxic of pasts. 
Through the roughest of tasks.
We see through the masks and know each other. 
More than any human should ask. 

You are one of one.
My one and done. 
The future mother to my daughters and sons.
Take this as a ode to your soul which holds me orbit like earth to the sun.

I’d tell the world that i Love you.
take this metaphorical hug. 
You’re amazing, the most beautiful girl in the world to me.
I know you’d be great at acting,radio, film, writing and film photography.
I know so much more that’s only for me. 

In every poem I write there’s a little of your essence.
In every breath that I take I wanna honor your presence. 
To let you know that you’re loved with no second guessing 
and no time for games and no space for guessing.
On what you mean to me.
A best friend, A lover, and board of charcuterie. 
My Valentine, my wife, someone i serve purposefully. 
I believe you’re God’s greatest prayer that he’s ever answered me. 
As close to perfection as a human could ever be. 
My. My. My. 
A beautiful beautiful girl

Please read Enjoy Right Now, Today and The Time Is Now first.

Today’s sunset made me miss something very dear to me. But it was an unexpected beauty amongst what seemed would be a rainy night. Here’s to better tomorrows and more beautiful sunsets. Here’s to Love. Here’s to rediscovery. Here’s to the one that matters most to me. MKB-S.

The sunset just means we go again tomorrow when the sun rises.

Be good y’all.

Bermuda My Heart
Longs for those long summer days
Cheers to Better Ways

(Start with yesterday’s post, “Enjoy Right Now, Today) then come here.

I’m sitting at Black Bay again.

The war I’m fighting this week is heavy. The mountain I have to climb is Annapurna high. The goal I’m trying to find is locked in the deepest parts of the Labyrinth of my mind.

Each time I open a door to what I think may solve the problem, another door appears in the distance. Each door an opportunity to challenge myself to grow through the discomfort. Another obstacle and challenge to overcome. Another childhood trauma to tame and adulthood failure to forgive.

How can I get to my end goal of self-love though if I only focus on getting there. I have to face every challenge behind each door with full intention.

I have to focus and be real of how whatever the door holds makes me feel. I have to be honest with myself in how I plan to overcome it. I have to forgive sometimes because certain things are just not my own fault but just circumstance and based on the actions of others.

A lot of what I feel is based off the actions of others. For instances always feeling inferior because I’m a little lamer and nerdier than the average guy. A moment like my old man telling me that “only sissies read” because i asked for a bookstore certificate for my birthday. This pops in as something I couldn’t control but was affected by. All the bullying I faced growing up too. Many other things that would make this post too long. But all the things your family and friends joke about that make you a little bit insecure about something. I can’t hold that anymore in my 29th damn year.

That aside todays moment of intention is being patient with myself. I get frustrated often that I fall back into the same mistakes. The same ways of destructive communication. The same ways of punishing myself.

Communication is the main one. I’m a horrible communicator when it comes down to it. I’m working on it and have to just forgive myself for failing sometimes. One thing I’m trying to practice is immediately apologizing to people if I feel I’ve slipped up. I’m just trying to do better.

I’m sure we all are. And if anyone’s reading this you’ll get there I’m sure. Hit me up and we can discuss ways we’re working on being better.

Question of the post: Whats One thing you’re working on in your personal life right now? Don’t be afraid to drop a comment or send me a message saying what it is.

P.S. the two songs of this post are Coco Jones’: ICU. And Daniel Caesar’s: We Find Love. The latter is a song me and a old good friend played about 200 times in a 3 day span. I hope he’s better off than when we first encountered the song. I know we’ll all make it to places where we are better off.

KyAsia told me write words to give away.

I couldn’t grasp the concept of anyone wanting to read words from me. But if anyone’s reading this is for you.

You (whoevers reading) are amazing.

Today i want to write about intentionally practicing the smallest things that make me happy.

Sometimes it’s hard to sit with myself and really find joy in the monotony of life.

But today i have had particular success at finding joy in the littlest things.

I sat half submerged at black bay. Literally sat on the shoreline just looking out to the horizon. In the moment I wanted to try and focus on what it is about bermuda’s pristine crystal clear waters that have always brought me peace.

So i focused on the minutia.

The fish eggs swaying slowly. I reflect now on how Pa White’s rocking chair gave us stories of a world war when I was 3. The details on the beach paying homage to the safe spaces of my childhood. How far i’ve come to now. My life stationary in this moment like the old missile head Pa White had right next to that very rocking chair.

At Black Bay, Fish swam around my toes as they aggressively attacked a peace of sargassum floating less then three feet away. Playful and joyous not minding that I was intruding on their morning snack. A reminder to myself to not let the presence and opinions of others dictate my moves and my emotions. A hard lesson to learn, one that takes studying and practice, but I’ve made good strides at it.

A very tiny crab (not to dissimilar to the one pictured below) peaked out from the rocks only shortly after the fish swam by. The crab tentatively shied away as my giant structure probably made for uneasy times.

I get that, how scary shit can be at times. How hard fears are to face. But attack fears leads to growth. And my obstacle to grow through this week is self love.

Today, Right now i’m sitting at the bus stop longer than i probably needed through the rain. Thats where i started to write this. That’s where i’ll finish this. That’s where tomorrow’s intention will be found. Through reflection and taking the time to actually listen to what I need.

Enjoy Right Now Today for you (reader). I’ve enjoyed writing this for me.

Be intentional in your choices.

Really focus on one thing that brings you joy and connect or rediscover the root of why. Remember that you’re strong enough to make it through this moment.

I’m here for anybody that has nobody, and anybody that needs someone.

Everybody is Something.

~The Fewture

P.S. you are beautiful frfr.

Another trip around the sun.
Another loop in the hell hole.
Been undesired since tryna break outta my shell though.
28, reflecting on what could break me and i’m hella close.
The edge is enticing me to slip into the unknown.

My mama said raise ya hands and let God take control.
But raised hands to me means your worst fate’s running the show.
Like i’m giving it all up,
and M.y F.ucking DOOMsday is impending,
Thats word to Daniel Dumile.
The way you break ya neck, at a pack of fat assess, and hit the look around like “who is they

The lines my pen writes carry me through my roughest times.
Would never see the future I desire. Only Fantasizing about the fewture I desire.
Gotta live more in my present mind.
It’s me, myself and demons I’ve known since I was 5. 
Everyday is a journey of maturity.
A test of my purity. 
I give it up to the most high for reassuring me there’s gotta be much more for me.

These four walls hold me hostage.
I've been avoiding the mirror because I know I'd be disappointed in who I'd find looking back.
I swallow my depression with every bite of unhealthy tendencies.
The video game is my best mate.
My soul's in a constant state of tug of war between Self-Love and Self-Hate.
The four walls hold my secrets.
The night sky is probably tired of my prayers of wanting more.
The lows are Kaiadas low.
The Highs are Thorong-La Pass high.
Abbotsford reminds me just how hard it is.
The mountains remind me of my lack of connection.
I hear the four walls laughing as they look down on me.
2023 is my year though.
To shine through the absolute pain of loneliness.
Scanning tickets with empty smiles.
I miss 2017. 
But 2023 won't be mean to me?