Stand beside me.
Give everything for my happiness.
I’d do the same effortless.
give me a taste of that blissful kiss.
show me that i’m a prize.
that it’d be a blessing to spend forever by my side.
That it actually is ride or die.
show me that im the only choice.
im not just one of the boys.
i’m an eternal type thing.
That i deserve to be loved rightly.
that im every right thing.
Oh how i’d love to be wanted and chosen by you.
Protected: How Stupid Hey?
Rainy Night Walks from Work
Counting my blessings.
I can count them on one hand but never doubt the lessons.
Raising both hands to God because I know im just his messenger.
and I ask him one question.
How do i continue to be the best for her?
As low as i am how do i step into my role as a man?
not trying to be a failure again.
I deserve the heavy karma
The heartbreak
The drama
I deserve the long nights i have no one to turn to.
i’d bare the brunt of the world if it meant her soul didn’t have to hurt too.
i honour her before you:
theres no parapet to stop the tumble into depression.
But this time i wear armor i didnt have before.
the drop won’t be as long or as bruising.
walking in the rain to get home from work has my mind spiraling loosely.
27.
My biggest insecurities as a man
Are being reflected back in the mirror of the love i receive.
I can pray away the demons but the damage is is lingering.
Like being laughed at took me back to middle school visions of the lonely i sit in.
These days i look at life through teary eyed vision.
Aint it a strange place when the ones you love look at you with estranged faces?
They spew venomous words to dig their fangs into the pain’s placement.
They hang you out to dry alone and then wonder why you end up stuck in the rain daily.
The pain starts to have a choke hold, and the winter cold becomes synonymous with my mission statement.
Heavy mind vs cold and cloudy days in.
Who do you turn to? when your heart is telling you that your losses are where your value lies.
I mean the Big GOD in the sky is never Shy.
People are fickle, and i’ve been loved through the trickle down effect lately.
Never first, I’m always last up and i get what’s left when all the love’s dried up.
I had to read back, to acknowledge the fact that my hurting heart has been lying to my mind.
I need to throw out my own life line because nobody is going to come and save me.
I’ve been carrying this shit dolo anyways.
My rucksack’s packed to the brim with my sins and my shame…
And there’s no raleigh team to share the weight.
I’ve been close to my lowest lately. And like all phases i know this shall pass soon enough. I feel alone. I feel embarrassed. I feel dumb. I feel like a failure. I feel unwa…
Hey hey
Running from my potential.
Reaching for the stencil,
find myself painting the same old picture.
Never learn the lesson from hearing or listening.
I have to live it.
Too caught up in fear
and suffocating in my immediate surroundings which means i can’t see past what is near.
Some days i cant even pic out my hair,
from low energy.
Survival mode like everyday,
No kingdom rush though, i can wait for my appointment at heavens gate.
i want to experience her better days.
I wanna reclaim the passion that’s slipping past my fingers when my mental state’s
declining… spent to many days trying to catch myself with my feet up reclining.
i gotta mold the future i wanna see this time and,
and bring the loml with me.
i’m trying to have a different story to tell this time next year you see.
.
i love making her laugh. Its the best sound in the world. And her smile is the most beautiful curve in existence
we should spend our lives together. Taste the sweet promises of a forever. Work at mending and molding each other until we’re healed and we’re better. I choose your spirit on earth and I’d choose it in the further. I wanna see our love go far. You’re the shooting star I wish upon. and you’re my favorite song. I know all the words to your melody and i wanna sing along. Oh how I would love to be loved by you. To be the subject of your poetry. To be where your love flows. To be where you plant your seeds, where you watch your love grow. Imagine being chosen by Earth’s finest. I pray coverage over our union, i need divine intervention and some divine timing.
Let’s spend this life thing as a unit. I accept all the flaws that make up your perfect human. An oxymoron maybe. You like Michelin star level plating. Crafted. Classy and classic. Lost in your smile and much as i wanna be lost up in your ***. Imagine being tethered to God’s best creation. Imagine my other half being my literally other half. My same person. Im way too imperfect for another chance.
Let’s spend this life shit making sure we enjoy this life shit. Piece by piece breaking down our heavy loads. Heaven only knows how we push through. And you’re heaven to me but that’s old news. New news is that I’m ready. I’m seasoned. I’m learned. I’m closer to God. I’ve been humbled and stripped raw. Let’s write the next chapter the way we want. Let’s author better days. Let’s write and craft a story that even hollywood fantasizes about. Let’s edit what needs to be fixed and let’s shine.
She is literally the type of gorgeous that they write about in fables.
she’s epic.
She’s prayed for.
she’s everything.
shes immense.
she’s Empyrean.
she’s …
Pea(ie)ce
I’m writing back to back pieces.
i’m trying to glue her shattered soul that had shattered into pieces.
i wanna be where she lays her head at night and where she can claim that her peace is.
or rather with whom her peace lives.
so we can say peace to our heavy loads, and wash our sins away on the shores of the Sargassum sandy beaches.
so on the next laundry day, our dirty laundry has less pieces.
I long for long nights of rubbing her feet and alfredo pasta dinners.
3am became our worst enemy during the seasonal depression visits.
i have a vision of better days, but i am stilling learning how to grip em.
she’s the missing piece to completing my my life’s vivid description.
and on days like this, the smallest dips, can feel like the deepest of fissures.
how can i fill a kaiadas level low? if the top doesn't even feel like it’s it touching distance.
im growing distant from stagnant and stuck.
she’s distant from her home amongst heaven’s courts and the stars.
an empyrean angel, with her guard up.
i wanna love her until her love is soft, and she sees me as the best reflections of the heavenly father.
we not too far from high school summer mentalities.
but it’s different this time because i got you, you got me.
we’ve grown so much, our love could never catch a casualty.
i’ll pick you up or tumble with you, i got your back to face reality.
in every problem there is a poem itching to be written, is what i believe.
I wear my heart out on the page until the ink plays a metaphor for my pain leaving me.
this is for the only piece of my peace that’s unwavering.
toilet bowl blues
I love her unconditionally.
I want to redefine what i do in service of her,
So i’m relearning me.
Will no longer regurgitate ungerminated seeds,
I will prove my love through my actions and show my adoration through the words that i speak.
I will water her garden, and I will pull all her weeds.
She’s the best parts of my everyday.
I want to stand strong underneath her heavy weight.
11:11, Wishing her pain away.
Trying to wash her soul clean with my intentions to love her in Better ways.
I hope she takes the gamble to build better days with me.
I’m growing myself swiftly.
and i hope she knows that the foundation i’m building for us will never be shifting.
she’s every-good thing.
this is a thank you to God for his divine gifting.
for letting me look into her eyes and touch base with his peace.
idk what’s gotten into me lately,
but i hope the “beauty in the struggle” part
gets left behind quickly.
i want her feet kicked up,
soft, creative girl era to start a s a p.
sundee nights
She’s my favorite love song.
She’s the building blocks to a foundation i would love to call home.
How could love go wrong ?
If love was with her?
I promise to learn the patience to love where it hurts.
My atoms vibrate to her frequency,
My heart beats sporadic in spurts.
Cause her ups are my highs and her downs are my worst.
And she knows even if I hated it I’d ride the rollercoaster of life’s bullshit as long as I was seated beside her.
She’s WORTH.
Every single breath i breathe, every moment every ounce of my heart.
I don’t wanna know life without her presence.
i’m playing my part.
and I can only hope i bring her the peace she’s brought me.
Idk
Dream Big 