I lose again.

I know I may not have been enough. David. Me. Obviously. the human i am. And that’s fine.

But i hope my efforts and energy were enough to show people the way past what we’re stuck in.

I’m just not the right person for peoples. But i hope the way i support … saved lives. Bye bye

Comparison is all i know.

From what i see of myself in the world i must be the lowest of the low.

And i mean loving someone like me is unimaginable.

So why did i ever believe different.

I let my self belief go missing.

Time to follow my own advice.

And take myself out the picture.

You’re my second wind. 
A breath of fresh Himalayan air.
A second chance, 
but a first moment for a new thing to begin…

Between us, 
you are the pu-erh tea i sip
as i pour a clean love 
into your mug to clean up 
all the hurt that we seem stuck
in.

i’m the sip of water that can ease up this..
troubled journey 
God and I stand up for your protection. 
I send my prayers up in your stead.
i drag myself to work so you can enjoy these small wins.
consider making me your man again. 
Im worth the investment 
with me would be a life well spent in this.

I want to be wanted.

This shit is getting heavy today.

Lonely and grey.

I thought depression was just raring its face.

But it looks like it’s here to stay.

The lowest point in my life since back in the day.

😞

I’ve been struggling to see.

Struggling to breathe.

Struggling to see the light within as the darkness surrounds me.

I help others through their days, then get abandoned to sit in my nights to carry my weight alone. Not even “is the anything i can do for you” after i’ve given my entirety to ensuring they’re okay. I look around and see nobody watching over me.

Here’s to no more instances of inner peace.

Here’s to being worth the nothing that I receive.

Here’s to drowning in this world alone :).

I want her so bad it’s maddening.

What else is a dude to dude but keep to imagining.

A life where he’s the most promising option.

That’s theres no other choice …and it’s just him.

Derserving of nothing but hurting
And carrying the burden
Alone and alerted 
to the damage i hold

There’s seems to be no cure for the pain I carry. 
Maybe not enough time has passed me & maybe my brain’s too heavy.
from all the overthinking and having nobody to tame my panic.
at least I hate myself less with every day that passes.
guess i was never enough,
guess i failed all the tests.
i would have never been the man of somebody’s dreams i guess.