Does our soul glow diminish
Anytime we let the devil win?
Letting toxic energies blend within me.
Mixed ideologies with someone I would never want to be.
No more summer scaffold days no more savoring Sargosso breezes.
Wipe my eyes anytime they get to dampening. 
My mind tenses thinking only of grimmer endings.
Took a peek over the edge. 
And lost his ashes to the wind.
I guess I'd rather feel the loss
Than lose any momentary wins.
Compressing gears and pushing nearer.
Drag my heart against its will.
And make sure I fill it deep with healing. 
Losing her is my only fear. 
I'm tiptoeing around my wits brim. 
I wrote this on a whim.
It takes real stregnth to look within.
And see all the ways the demons worked to dim me. 
The next few years I better hope to enjoy the trip.
Because my happiness had grown thinner.
No more "faking it" left to spare. 
Cupid spesred me through the heart and it took two years to find the clearing. 
It's hard as fuq at times out here.
Especially walking around wearily.
Scared to let anyone near to me.
Even scared to look in mirrors  Because I hate who I appear to be.