I’m writing back to back pieces.
i’m trying to glue her shattered soul that had shattered into pieces.
i wanna be where she lays her head at night and where she can claim that her peace is.
or rather with whom her peace lives.
so we can say peace to our heavy loads, and wash our sins away on the shores of the Sargassum sandy beaches.
so on the next laundry day, our dirty laundry has less pieces.
I long for long nights of rubbing her feet and alfredo pasta dinners.
3am became our worst enemy during the seasonal depression visits.
i have a vision of better days, but i am stilling learning how to grip em.
she’s the missing piece to completing my my life’s vivid description.
and on days like this, the smallest dips, can feel like the deepest of fissures.
how can i fill a kaiadas level low? if the top doesn't even feel like it’s it touching distance.
im growing distant from stagnant and stuck.
she’s distant from her home amongst heaven’s courts and the stars.
an empyrean angel, with her guard up.
i wanna love her until her love is soft, and she sees me as the best reflections of the heavenly father.
we not too far from high school summer mentalities.
but it’s different this time because i got you, you got me.
we’ve grown so much, our love could never catch a casualty.
i’ll pick you up or tumble with you, i got your back to face reality.
in every problem there is a poem itching to be written, is what i believe.
I wear my heart out on the page until the ink plays a metaphor for my pain leaving me.
this is for the only piece of my peace that’s unwavering.
toilet bowl blues
I love her unconditionally.
I want to redefine what i do in service of her,
So i’m relearning me.
Will no longer regurgitate ungerminated seeds,
I will prove my love through my actions and show my adoration through the words that i speak.
I will water her garden, and I will pull all her weeds.
She’s the best parts of my everyday.
I want to stand strong underneath her heavy weight.
11:11, Wishing her pain away.
Trying to wash her soul clean with my intentions to love her in Better ways.
I hope she takes the gamble to build better days with me.
I’m growing myself swiftly.
and i hope she knows that the foundation i’m building for us will never be shifting.
she’s every-good thing.
this is a thank you to God for his divine gifting.
for letting me look into her eyes and touch base with his peace.
idk what’s gotten into me lately,
but i hope the “beauty in the struggle” part
gets left behind quickly.
i want her feet kicked up,
soft, creative girl era to start a s a p.
long night thoughts
I want to Live.
I no longer want to exist. I no longer want to miss out on the beauty in everyday. I want to travel, to love, to learn. I want to write and write and write. I want to be loved. And be loved for me. I want to be seen. I want to create something timeless. I want to be someone’s everything. I want to see all the colours of all the sunsets and all the full moons in all the night skies. I want to be lost in her eyes. And to give to her endlessly. Everyday I want the opportunity to have gained something. And tbh I’m blessed I have someone that cares. I do. I want to live with her. I live for her. I want to grow. I want to elevate her through prayer, hardwork, listening, time and effort. Effort that is healing myself so that I can be her rock. effort that is learning how to serve her. Effort that is becoming the provider I want to be. What a blessing it has been to know her.
I want to live. But I want to live and experience it all with her by my side. Hand in Hand. Shared breath. Kisses and ‘trips’. Following the curve of the outline of her smile until I find my own forming. Knowing love is the happiness I get when she laughs. Fantasizing about how good life will be together for us in 2 years time… Idk. I’m trashed and humbled. Embarrassed and naked. I write this and hope my words reach the places my physical presence could never touch. I pray coverage over us.
She is why art and poetry exist.
She is unmatched.
In face, mind, body, soul.
She is the image of perfection.
Within.
When the Silence becomes deafening
I turn my ears towards you God.
Or maybe rather the you that lies within me.
The tiny voice that I hear and the guidance I seek.
Aligning my stars with their peace.
Trying to line up with the I and I like this was a Rasta thing.
I pray coverage over my temperament. This upcoming month I really was to focus on bettering how I react to things. I want to continue to move with love. I want to continue to challenge myself to grow. I want to be in tune with everything I want to be. I want to receive everything I desire while being able to enjoy it because I believe I deserve it. I want to grow and build with her. I want to bring her past this darkness this world surrounds her with and remind her that her place is amongst the heavens.
She’s Celestial.
She’s superlunary.
The title of my love story is “The Moon and Me”.
I plan to love her through her dark nights. Love her through her cycles. Love her “new moon” as much as I love her “full moon”. Love her crescent as much as I praise her whole. I want to help fill her until her cycle completes and she is back to the image of herself that even she can praise. She shines so bright. I sway graciously in her pull. I bask in the miracle of having got to know her. And that’s the truest way I can describe having gotten to know her. Life’s most simple yet grand pleasure. The biggest part of my everyday. So i sing her praise like a wolf pronounces their admiration of the full moon. And I hope my love fills every crater…every ‘flaw’ (cause she’s perfection to me)… every phase. Hakuna Matata.
I hope I can spirit away her problems. Lead her healing through prayer and effort. Through love and attention and safety. To love the someone as immense as the moon is no small task… But like I said earlier, I want to challenge myself. I hope she finds relief in the ways I love her. And I plan to better myself everyday.
To a better temperament all 2024.
To a girl who is Peace.
She is patiently crafted.
Perfection.
Rare. Real. Royal.
Everything.
Timeless.
You’re the moon that's plastered against my night sky.
You’re the Angel whose Northern Star I follow for guidance.
Your presence is Cosmic and inspirin'.
Let me praise your every inch and help you reach all the dreams that are packed behind your eyelids.
I’m happy that the love I have for you survived all this extra mileage.
Let me love you back to whole and praise your soul my queen/your highness.
I pray your healing to comes from the golden streets where the most high lives.
You’re the best slice of the warmest apple pie and
I love you. I love you. i love you. I’d say i do a million times miss.
~The Fewture.
Unconditional Love
There’s no possible I could put into words the gravity that you hold over my life. And the man I’ve become through having an opportunity to experience love.
This past year I learned the definition of unconditional love. And as much pain as it brought me I’m actually extremely proud of the level of love I was able to bring into the world.
I was challenged to my core. I was stripped bare. I was humbled. I was shown every insecurity I was yet to overcome. I had to look my most damaged self in his eyes and vow to be better. And actually step into the better i was promising myself. No one was looking to save me but me. But that didn’t have to mean that i couldn’t try my best to save the people I loved most. To be a breath of life while i was suffocating. To literally lay myself down like Jack did for Rose. Drowning to keep them afloat.
I learned what Jordan Ward’s Cherimoya meant. I learned why Frank Ocean sings. I learned why ‘Roller Coasters’ by Tank and the Bangas could bring me to tears.
I learned God again. Maybe for the first time since I was 12. I never had given up on believing I just never knew he loved me this much. And maybe this is the humbling lesson that I had to learn to be able to reconnect with all my values. To really make another leap in my character development.
I learned that broken was the man. But I learned that healing wasn’t unattainable. I learned I was willing to work through whatever. Love slow when I wanted to speed up. Play the supporting cast. Play protector. Love when there was no love to be returned.
And yeah, it’s been dark, cold, and lonely in my life.
I’m ready to fall. Fall into every good thing I know love can offer. Ready to fall into healing. Ready to fall into whatever comes next in God’s planning. I know the intelligent design. And I believe my heart was meant to tear. And i’ll work my own repairs, while working hers too. Love myself and love another’s heart. Even if it gets hard and heavy for me.
Well I never gave up on life and love. I want to be able to love in a way that God loves. I want to be able to give in the way he does. To lead under his light. To spread his light. I’m trashed. I’m low. I’m learning. To trust in his lead over union. I learned in scaffolding, that yes it may be double work, but if the foundation’s off strip down and rebuild instead of standing atop something unstable. And I’m glad I got to experience rock bottom again. What comes back from this will be the strongest foundation of love.
Please Lord I pray that you keep working on me. I also pray you keep answering my prayers through her. She’s my everything and I’m not afraid to admit it. I admit it before you, before the world, through my humbling heart.
I’m
Dream Big 