Our bodies wrote this poem.
There’s more space between you and the edge of the bed than there is between our two skins.
Each time I lose my train of thought you finish the sentiment. Like a conductor guiding the weight of my freight back into its peaceful tracks.
I want to argue like my grandparents argued. Did we buy this shirt in Montreal or New York? Did you eat my last dinner roll? I washed the dishes last night but I’ll do it again today to save your beautiful hands the stress.
The remedies that love gives from growing older together.
I knew your baby faced late teens like I know the perfection of your mid-twenties.
The further I am from you the closer I am to empty.
It’s like my palms were made to caress the folds of your grandeur.
The entirety of God’s majesty exists in your creation.
I’m unafraid of this union unless our together looks like Together.
What would a day be without your sunrise ?
If the world ended tonight at least I knew heaven within my lifetime.
Grief is Invisible
Subway tracks
Wisdom doesn't come cheap .
It comes from a body spent with damages.
And the deepest wounds covered with dollarama bandages.
And dreamimg of presence through painful absences.
This journey is a constant search to reactivate my happiness.
Would it be blasphemous to ask to see God's master planner?
I use to worry about what comes after but now im worried that you sit waiting with empty answers.
I'm at my calmest during disaster.
And start to drowing when it quiets down.
Wearing my black with pride now.
And learning quietness isn't always manners.
Cause some mfs actually need to be put in their place.
And misplaced words remind me I'm not as numb to this as I thought.
So I lie and go on brave, since that's a lighter cost.
And I hide it just because.
I have no space for heavier discourse.
My face a blank slate hiding the straining weight.
Throw my screams into the crashing waves.
And let a Black Bay sunset wash the pain away.
I keep conversation for the wordpress pages.
Writing saves me from decaying.
These posts are a freeze frame.
Small vibrant moments of captured mind states.
Wrote this om the subway home from work.
Imner
Let's build a love with calm hands.
The type of hands that could sew my heart's grandest fissures.
I'm talking a patiently painted picture.
I pray to magnify God within us.
Little scrimmages fixed with care,
Healing the inner.
Planting
I'm tryna cushion the fall of wherever your heart's landing.
There's no need for it to shatter if I'm in your presence.
I've seen you grow your petals from buds to a garden that's well managed.
I'm only leaving it up to God's planning if I'm also digging my hands in.
And working to till the ground for the precious seeds that you're planting.
You're the rich earth, the water, the sunlight, and the flower pot I'd hope to grow my spiritual plants in.
Love?
Body to body.
Make me forget my unimportance.
Fill my pores with the grace only you bring.
Still my core with the peace that you pour in.
I wanna glow with that shea butter sheen.
Give me your love so I can hoard it.
Find attraction in my human.
My body and flesh love you with only a percentage of what my heart and soul do.
I want to mold a better future* while I know you.
Fall in love with me and all the things we grow through.
If I could have one wish, it would be for just one moment where you see yourself through my eyes.
You’d never feel self doubt again knowing the quality of design I see.
And truthfully I only ask that in love the Lord keeps guiding me.
I’m nothing yet I hope to be your everything
If?
I’m season one A-train. Running at full sprint away from everything I should be.
I’m too fragile to be a man. I grew up in a space that taught me men shouldn’t show emotion. Closed fists and razor sharp tongues were the way problems were solved. Bricks flew through windows. I knew beatings before I knew tears. But ironically it has made me all too sensitive as a young adult. How can I always be one bad remark away from breaking down, but afraid to show emotion. I use to carry nonchalantness as frequent as I carried my school backpack. Now my tears are ‘on-go’ from any setback or step backwards.
As a kid I defined manhood as a closeness to God. All the male role models I had were “men of God”. My grandfather and Bro. Vaughn and Brent. But the older I get the more I see that those so called Men of God only claimed that title to save themselves from troubled pasts. Their closeness to God was sometimes a facade. My closeness to God feels like a facade. How could it not be? I call out and hear no answer. I don’t want to be the kid that only calls on their Heavenly Father when they need something. But yet it seems like I’m stuck in a state of need, so under what other premise can I pray? I try to give thanks in all moments. I try to carry a Godly borrowed strength with me. Because I’m too far from God and too fragile to be a man.
If a man fails to live up to his boyhood definition of manliness does that make him not a man?
6 am no sleep journaling
Water me
Her waters are the oceans that I drown in.
Her waters are the pool of my baptism, saving me.
Her waters are turbulent raging waters.
Her waters are also Tilicho lake, pure serenity.
Her water drips the drop that disturb the pool of my inner peace.
One ripple that set off a lifetime of waves.
Crest and troughs defined the rollercoaster of love that she had given me.
But now I’m ready for the scary part of the drop where I start falling fast, steep and deep.
Knowing her waters will always break my fall i can only hope that they wouldn’t shatter me.
Her waters oxygenate my blood… flooding me with energy.
Her waters are the shower that cleanses my soul of depression.
Her waters carry the little glass bottle that is overflowing with God’s message.
The beauty in which her water falls is a blessing.
This must be the water the angels in Heaven sip to get themselves some refreshment.
Her water is an ice cold sip on a Bermuda summer scaffolding day.
Her water is the peace that I started to find at Black Bay.
like an old, seasoned sailor… the journey across her waters is defining me.
and my waters dance to the pull of her moon, happily caught up in her gravity.
Love Day
To the rarest one .
My source…
The fountain of my happy,
my water, my passion.
To someone truly uncommon in all the best ways.
A beauty that is unmatched.
And a talent that could never be compressed in a trap cage.
To my favorite star, shining bright in a universe of darkness.
I wanna be the biggest piece of peace that fills the caverns where your heart is.
I love you regardless.
Playing my role, and letting God guide my part in this.
You and I go together like an old locket with two parts to it.
To the rarest one.
My source…
The eye in my life’s storm.
The shore where I’m building my foundation.
You’re the reason that I’m learning to be patient.
Your smile’s my motivation.
To someone uncommon in all the best ways.
I compress waves of emotion just writing what you mean to me.
You’re the only queen to me ,
You got me on bended knee.
The only subject and thesis of my poetry.
To my favorite star, shining bright in a universe of darkness.
You’re the smartest.
What an honour it would be to spend a lifetime under the sky that your stars lit.
And to help you make a play out of the shitty hand of cards that,
Life dealt you to stop your progress.
I said I love you regardless.
Let’s get this right from now on miss.
Dream Big 