I sink more everyday. And I rush to the surface to grasp at any instance of light. I hope the universe eases your soul tonight.
I can hold the pain. I can take your burden and make it my own. I can help carry the load. I’ll offload mines somewhere along the way. Or just let it drag behind and weigh me down until i find someone willing to do the same for me.
Beat me up.
Use me.
Abuse my soul.
My spirit ruptures from all it seems God expects me to hold. But for him I’ll stand string through it. It’s about time someone pours this same amount of effort and love into you Dewirt.
Anyone?
Anywhere?
My glass is running emptier than full these days. But for now at least i Still have something in the glass. Shit evaporates fast in this summer heat though.
I hope the devil and depression decide to leave me alone.
I give praise to the Most High. I give praise to the good times I’ve been spending with her. I release this night’s negative emotions. They can attack me tomorrow morning when my spirits rested and the day is new.
Please let me sleep tonight. Please?
Stay true to you. I can’t promise I’ll do the same tonight though.
Found my Balance between the lines. Thats where i learned to read the harsher messages. Holding my heart together with paper thin lashings. The reaper keeping track of my borrowed time. Happiness comes and goes, like the lows have gotten the best of us. How much of my soul would i have to give for a second chance at this? How much of my soul will be left when i’m done and there’s no one left to tend to it? Meet me where the sun sets and where God offers alternative passages. I’ll carry your load like boeing wings and you the Phil Stringer of passengers. My balance was off until i got this off my chest again. I know i have a lot to learn. Maybe one shot to get it right. Come hold my spirit and i’ll protect you tonight.
Memories rush back. This setback is a good chance to remember how it was at our best times. I’m working towards loving her in God’s way. Soul tied and free’d minds.
let’s burn down our old garden. Feelings overgrown, roots tangled, invasive species sneaking in and unravelling years of work.
let’s burn it all and tend to our garden again. new buds are sprouting that need water. I promise to God to honor one of his most beautiful daughters.
how does the heart work? Losing time to the sins of the summer heat. let me protect your soul and body like i’m a bottle of black girl sunscreen. let the old garden burn.
let the new garden be a project to work on. Let the new garden consume our time. lets grow the sweetest fruits. The loveliest grapes for the loveliest wines. let’s do it on our time. but bearing in my that a soul like yours is truly God Sent and preciously divine. you’re the reason for valentine roses. You’re the reason a gardener’s work brings me peace. You are the biggest piece. of my peace of mind.
the space between this garden and the last may never be seen. We may just build on top of already woven seams. you may feel like miguel ohara trying to hold it together. let me be the one to tend to your soul and it could only be better. Let me be your garden boy. let me love ya. The grass gets greener on this side on the bermuda triangle.
Today’s goal is to intentionally reframe how i think about myself. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it.
Recently I’ve felt quite worthless. Embarrassed by myself. Picking apart every negative aspect of my personality and soul. Today I’ll go easy on myself.
And then tomorrow. And then the day after.
I hope new beginnings can come. Even a new beginning within a long term situation. Reset and re/evaluate what’s important.
I write as a ode to the better me. I write to find balance and heal my soul heavily. Tending to my soul’s garden, The pad stands at attention readily. The callouses on my hands harden From all the tilling i do every week. The man in the mirror became the biggest villain i knew. We sometimes stay stuck even though we’re attempting to move.
Every long, sea breeze fulled summer night at 7:30 my spirits tugs me to be outside. I get the urge to ride to Whale Bay, Gibbs Hill, Black Bay. It’s like my atoms are longing for her.
The sun once promised to heal my tender heart. The warming of my soul. To energize me when I feel low. To listen to my cries and return back a message that I’ll be alright.
I try to get others to join me when the sun rests. I send my appreciation to her daily right before she peaks past the horizon. Her day’s task of lighting our paths can’t be easy up in the sky alone.
Meet me where the sun sets. Where the horizon literally spreads like garlic butter on Red Lobster Cheddar Bay biscuits. Here you’ll find yourself. Reconnect with what the sun wants you to know about you. This is when her light is kindest. Here is where her light hits you in a way that would make you feel better about your appearance. The golden hour. But here is where we must also take time to show gratitude. To every experience. To every lesson learned.
Meet me where new beginnings start. The sun sets as do our problems of the day. The sun comes back around the next day to cleanse us anew. Everyday a gift to reach for a clean slate. Okay i messed up yesterday, today’s it’s me and the sun against my failures.
Let’s focus on improving ourselves through each sunset. And accept each sunset’s beauty. Sometimes it swallows the sky whole, just like my problems swallow me. Sometimes the colour illuminates only in-front of me as twilight takes over the rest of the sky. Just like my problems on that day may be small, fleeting, forgiving.
Speaking of forgiving let’s learn from the sun’s love. Each day the sun shines on us. Even through cloudy, stormy, unsure times. Despite whatever we may be going through. Let’s forgive ourselves same way. Shine through our struggles. Love ourselves like the sun loves us daily.
Meet me at a sunset and I’ll share your burden. I’ll share what the sun gives me with you. A open heart, a bit of light, a chance to start over. Each night I can be your sunset and each morning i’ll be your sunrise.
I ask the sun to shine her love on those closest to me. To let her daily meeting with the horizon heal my love ones the way it heals me. For them to take pictures in sunset lighting and see the truest beauty they possess.
Next sunset go outside and take a selfie. I’ll try to do the same. Remind yourself that you’re strong and beautiful. Remind yourself that you are loved. Remind yourself that there is light for you. Some days it will be the tiniest ray peeking through, others you’ll feel overwhelmed by the love you’re receiving. Some days it will be you having to remind yourself or your worth, it’s hard, trust me I know. Other days you might be sitting in a restaurant and the waitress serving you might catch you by surprise by calling you really beautiful. Take it as it comes. Believe it when your hear. Allow the sun into your soul.
Life’s a mystery yes. Sometimes it’s not worth trying to figure out. Sometimes the simplest answers are the best. Sometimes the sun is all you need.
I love you David. Enjoy tonights sunset. Whomever wants to meet me there is welcome. i’ll greet you with an open heart.
Time waits for no man The reapers lurking around the corner with my expiry date in her hands. what if i leave this life full of regrets. And lost loves. and lost friends. or no meaning to whatever becomes of my end. tell the reaper to hold off so i could enjoy just a tad bit more of this girl’s love. My happiness smudges because lately the tears been running amok. shouts out to the lost of us.
Worthless and Worth-less. Winning becomes a priority when all you do is lose. Worshiping another soul tends to take its toll.
Understanding… Understanding… Understanding. Underappreciation comes with the territory.
Forgiveness of the self is step one. Forgiving isn’t easy though.
Life lessons get taught in cruel ways. Learned behaviour leaves you stagnant at times, unable to achieve the growth thats needed. Ls become tbe norm.
Explanations are needed to make progress, to reconnect. Energy is drained and invested, sometimes in the wrong places. Everything goes wrong. Elation is hard to come by.
Selfness becomes harder. Save me please. Selling myself short kills my confidence. Stupidity plagues me.
Someone listen to me on my worst days. Surely I’m worth the investment. Silly of my to assume otherwise. Somebody will help me rekindle my worth. Something will help me connect to my better ways. Somehow this love Im pouring will be poured back into me.
Dream Big 