Dream Big

To more Summer.

Please give me more summer days like this.

Nights filled with her.

Nights where the sun hits her smile just right as it leaves behind its daily duties.

Nights Where the ocean heals us.

Where perfection is at our fingertips.

Perfections is found in her eyes.

Perfection is every word that leaves her lips.

Every move she makes when she dances.

Everything that excites her.

HER.

It’s amazing how much reconnection happens by the water side.

How much of yourself you can be at peace with hearing the sound of waves chipping away and the limestone’s walls.

Maybe a metaphor to my walls breaking down each time i’m by her side.

More willing to love in the right way, more willing to pray for her. More willing to listen and learn and serve.

More willing to help her stitch herself back together. More willing to let her and this planet stitch me as well. She plays surgeon to my most fractured chasms.

It’s amazing how much of a blessing longer summer days can be. I’m eternally grateful to Saturday night. And the two i spent it with. And the one I love more than anything.

I hope August brings so much more of these kinds of summer days.

Thanks to Freudian and Case Study 01.

Please hear my prayer dear Lord.

Please align things for me oh universe.

~Dutty Disposable Dave

You met me in my dreams last night we must be intertwined.
You hold space inside the corners of my inner mind.
This must be divine.
I’m an artisan of the art of sin,
Let me take a peek of what’s really defining.
Joe’s “i wanna know” the soundtrack to the motives of my summertime.

from the bottom of my heart it’s you.
the demons have been fighting hard,
but at the foundation is cedar tree roots.
anything new may be casuarina shallow.
i wanna know the one possible future that sees me winning this here battle.

She is perfection.

Today the moon smiled back at her. The lighting kissed her face just right. Illuminated her eyes. Perfected her already alluring appearance.

I consider her gravity to be intoxicating. She pulls my tides as if she was the moon herself. If goddesses exist I’m sure she’s one walking. If the moon had an essence I’m sure it’d be her.

She’s my light. All-ways.

Tonight the pasta was bad. But the vibe was good. A night could never be wasted when it’s spent with the one that guides my heart. Who’s light illuminates my darkest nights. Who’s presence is the biggest happiness in my recent memory. Who is the moon to my dark times.

I honour her before you dear God. I honour her before the moon. I thank everything that made her who she is.

Im currently looking out my window and im thanking the moon for blessing me with nights I can spend with this girl. I thank Dockyard for being our friend.

She’s perfect.

We go through phases like the moon. And my next goal is to build with her during this new moon phase. Start new. Reconnect. Shine bright into our next full moon which will be a forever thing.

Perfection is rare. And she’s as rare as it flipping gets.

P.S.

Nobody could pull me the way that you do.
The weight on my shoulders is less a problem when you come around.
I’d bring the fight to anyone who decided to even attempt to bring you down.
You’re worth it all.

My soul is battered, bruised, trampled and blown out.
Come and save me from the depths of the hell that I’m in.
These are the long nights I arm wrestle with the stress and the sin.
The heartbreak starting to show tsukasa strength again.
I could fold, snap, and attack
But i move forward the best that i can.

We flow like water through the peaks and the valleys.
Ive been living through my worser times
The demons that ive been battling 
Could’ve turned me into the worse guy.
But i chose to rise and be patient.
Love through the hurt.
Stand strong and protect David.
And stand true to my worth.

~TF

I think I have reached the eye of my current storm. Meet me here. A calmness has settled over my spirit. God has consoled my soul.

The Devil has been disguising themselves in the winds of the backend of my storm. I know this period of calm that succeeded my recent pain and stress is only preceding another wave of tumultuousness. I know this calm is temporary and that’a okay.

I’ll use this period to build myself back up. To pour into me. To love myself, be kind, and listen to what my body and soul is crying out for.

I’ll use this little bit of a break to pursue passions. To push myself. To read and write. To be available for people that matter while I’m spiritually able. To continue to connect with God and the plan for my life. To enjoy the sun (with sunscreen). To fucking swim. I haven’t swam in a good 2/3.

I think the back end has started to come. A morning later and I’m started to collapse again. Mentally, physically, emotionally. It’s fine because this too shall pass. And I put this work in to heal. The weather inside me will be clear. My 7 day forecast will be clear skies and sunlit.

I do see a light for myself through the stormy days though right now. A way out. Better days ahead. A place for myself. Love.

Love.

What a Hurricane season my spirit has had this summer. Fuck me buh.

Be patient and kind to yourself David. And that’s what you’ll attract. Everything you’re pouring out will find its way back to you.

~Circa Hurricane Season 2023

Lets move towards forever.

I see eternity in your eyes. I wake up and want to breathe in your presence. I want you to be my everyday person.

I want to build you up. Challenge you. Be a catalyst for all positivity that comes into your life. I believe in you. I love you.

Wherever you are right now. Just know that you’re loved. Bless your beautiful soul.

~davids

I just want to continue to heal myself so i can tenderly help to heal those that matter most to me. I can’t do it alone. I am barely holding on today. I’ll be back to myself soon nuff

How many pieces can my soul break into before i can’t piece him back together?
I am weird and all.
Scared of the all.
But through it all I’ll still give praise to the all.

There’s gotta be a way when there feels there’s no way
There’s gotta be a place when i feel there’s no place.
There has gotta be just one more soul out there that will choose to hold me in a valued space.
There’s gotta be more for me in this 22 miles.

What’s the biggest passion that is calling my name?
When I’m standing at the fork in the road how do i choose the right lane?
I know that I have have no place right now.
and there’s “no place like home”
Maybe I’ve been wrong all along

I had a realization last night.

I think I am ready to fully surrender my soul to the one that I love. I want to be tender and supportive and help her reach the most amazing parts of herself. I’ve been ready for a minute. I was ready to pour as much as I could into her spirit.

I have a “home” in her. What is a twin flame? Someone explain…

But life is lifing and I gotta have me the oggest boi summer.

Check in on those that matter most. They might be barely holding on.

Stay up.

~Circa Heartbreak 2023