Dream Big

I feel the pain.
I feel the timing.
2023 will turn out just fine. 
Let me take you by the hand and be your spiritual guide.
Let me take my time with ya heart like i’m aging fine wine.
Your presences divine.
Or at least heavenly crafted. 
Let me take you to a better place after.
After the pain, after the lost of yourself 
Let me bundle up ya mind, and love it back to itself. 
You are God’s greatest design, and i promise to build ip your wealth
And drag you out the gutter while i’m still drowning myself.

Earthgang- Ambeyonce 
JID - Better Days
JID - Stars
Noname - Gospel
Ab Soul - Do Better
Vince Staples - Sundown Town
Jazmine Sullivan - Girl Like Me
SZA - Notice Me
Tems - Ice T
Mavi- Reason!
Steve Lacy - Give You The World
Smino - Wyoming 

All i need is a real second chance.
I promise you won’t regret it. 
I promise bad habits will be left behind, 
and tears in ya mind will be mended.
you’ve already seen it first hand and. 
your heart couldn’t possibly be in better hands.
Your spirit any more protected.
The way I plan to love you I am working on perfecting.
You as perfect as Black Bay’s sunset,
or how a plate of pasta on a weekend is.
I wanna look deeper into your stellar mind.
This shit is atom splitting, like a Christopher Nolan design.

Direct me in the ways to serve you best.
I lay it all bare so you know there’s nothing else to get up off my chest.
I want to lockpick the maps to your treasures. 
And pull you up like Arthur to your excalibur. 
Have you ever heard of love this good during a quarter life crisis.
a love full of long nights laughing to “Merry Chryslers” 
a love of adventures and songs and breathing each other in.
the flame in my soul has definitely found its twin.
let me in and let me win.

Dave Boi. Dumb as fuck boi.

Summer 2023. Post rating … 0

I am flippin tired mate.

But I will push through. These sleeps tend to be torturous and harsh. And tbh the lack the “sleep” part. But I’m grateful for another day.

I will intentionally make this week one of healing and growth. I will complete a certain amount of tasks. I will do right by those closest to me.

Every day I wake up feels like a Monday Morning. Every day the pain stays the same. I am waiting for it to get a little bit easier. I’m praying. I am doing. I am walking in purpose. I am shining light.

Thank you mother Earth for my breath. Thank you God for my consciousness. Thank you Kyts for your support.

The end of August will be kinder than the start. Maybe I can have fulfill my promise to myself that I would have a good month. It starts today though.

2017 was a year that was kind to me.
Love was visiting.
Anything i wanted i put my mind to it.
The man i was becoming just needed some fine tuning.
The partner that i found was was god sent and soul moving.

I want to ask her to give me everything all at once u see.
Give me one more taste of your sun.
Before my times up and my minds done.
Pull me into your moon.

My emotions flow with your tides 
But I’m working to become unstuck.
I’m trying to pull you into better. 
Meet me where I’m at and i promise bad things will be shredded.

2023 I gotta question every motive set out in front of me.
What does it even mean?
Whats there to this life shit if i can’t move freely 
If i lose out on you and me?

I am trying to redefine myself. I’ve been falling victim to my worst tendencies and practices.

I am trying to do better for me so that i can be at my best for those that need me most. it drains me though, i feel alone.

But also, i feel i am doing better. I am learning, growing, and implementing newness daily. Through prayer. Through intention. Through reminding myself of my worth.

Through journaling.

Through swimming and Earthgang, JID, Smino … tems.

Black bay is restoring my black boy joy. And Im trying to shine in my black joy again. I am trying to shine in purpose and bring others with me. I can be better than 2023 has made me feel. I can reach Thorang/la heights again.

David i promise to be kind to you. To pour into you and attract what i want to attract.

I don’t need anybody to validate me.
The pain and darkness that i feel.
2013 David smiling at the man he sees in 2023. 
Stuck in the cycle of staying still.
Wanting to grow but life’s unclear.
The scaffold days free my mind
but the summer has increased my fears. 

Fear that I’m alone in this shit.
Fear that I’m stuck and can’t grow past the slips. 
Fear that I’m defined by my lesser moments.

Dear David:

If anything i feel more lonely in this period of my life. Abandoned. Ashamed.

Ashamed that i believed i deserve better. Ashamed of my mistakes these last couple days. But each day i promise to do better. To hold myself accountable. To pray and love. To give to myself through my loneliness.

Let me bring a beautiful sunset to your turbulent summer. Let me fill you with love, laughter, learning and longing.

Let me be a piece of your peace. And bring you to spirituality. And let me be a therapy session for your soul.

Let me breathe you in. And spend every moment the rest of this summer has in your presence. Let me be pulled in by your moon like gravity. And flow with you like the tides.

You are my light. Let me return the favor.

Let me show you what you missed. But also let me give you no reason to live with regret that you missed it because I made the little time I had worth while.

Let me find fulfillment too. In you. In summer. In us.

I hope that you let me in.

Writing catalyzed the therapy.
Therapy gave way to a better me.
I see the ghost of who I was getting madder  at the man he sees.
God knows I raise a toast for all the better times in front of me. 
I’m moving differently. 
2023 seen the lonelier times of my more recent history.
I reconnected with myself.
Better days have to be coming soon, let’s pray for more health.