Dream Big

I see God in you.
I see proof of heaven’s courts.
I know a goddess in human form when I see one.
I’ll be the sun to your moon if you need love.

I’ll anchor you in storms.
And watch you fly on the good days.
I promise to love you in every good way.

Like I said recently…

I’ve known you for as long as I can remember. I always knew God would send an angel my way. Why he chose to send me his most perfectly crafted one I’ll never be too sure.
I prayed long to cover your 2024.
There’s so much proof of the love God has for me as I walk through everyday life. The first morning breathe. The opportunity to be forgiven as each day offers a clean slate. Sunsets and good music. But there has been no bigger proof that giving me the opportunity to love you. To be challenged by you. To heal, by honouring myself in attempts to help you heal. Because I have to be the best version of myself if I’m going to play muse to heaven’s strongest, kindest, most beautiful angel.
I pray daily for Godly guidance into how to best serve you on your journey. And as a human I’m sure i f*ck up more than I get it right. I can hold that.
Your voice is heaven’s sweetest melody. It… plays the chords of my spirit. It brings me a peace that i could never describe. The sh*t feels like home.
Your smile rivals the beauty of the Himalayas. Rival The beauty of Aphrodite. Your smile resonates with the deepest hues of the warmest sunset. It’s as comforting as looking up and seeing the crescent moon. It plays “obliviate” to my deepest scars.
I know it weighs heavy sometimes and probably more times than it is easy. But I would love to be your light. And I would love to lessen your load. And you’d be the only passenger that my Boeing wings carry like your name was Phil Stringer. And you’d know love. And you’d learn to love yourself through the way I love you. And you’d see the God in yourself. Because within you lies God’s greatest planning. A generational mind. A fabled beauty.

Namaste my love. The light within me acknowledges the light that’s trying to burst through you. I acknowledge the herculean strength you have. I acknowledge you as divine perfection. I acknowledge that God walks beside you. And he sent me to walk behind you in support. I acknowledge the God in you.

We could spend this life shit together.
Build up from this foundation of beach sand.
We can tether each other to the good things along the journey.
Face the challenges my hand in your hand.

Your soul and spirit would be safe with me.
Guided, protected, and prayed for.
I’d fight whatever demons hid behind your red door.

I wish i deserved to be love and upheld.
The way i love and uphold.
That there was value in life by my side.
But those bright eyes could see right through me even when they weren’t in their right mind.

No need to hide.

If I’m everything i wish i was loving me would come easier.
We could leave the mistakes our or past behind and build something unbeatable.
And spend life laughing in the breeze.
I’d get down on one knee again with ease.





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I’ve known you my whole life.

Even before I met you I prayed for someone like you to enter my life. And I had the patience to wait because I knew you’d come along. I knew all the qualities you’d hold and yet you still surpassed every single one of my dreams. I knew how beautiful you’d be but what I didn’t know was that every day you would outgrow the previous one. I didn’t believe someone could get more beautiful every-time you saw them until I saw you over the years. I knew God would have his hands over our union. But I also understood that sometimes we would end up diverging from his divinity. So now I offer my heart back up to him to trust his guidance and borrow his strength. You see I’m not as naturally strong as you are. I have to borrow from the most high. I fall short too much. But I knew the forgiving nature you’d hold. A nurturer. And i knew you’d be every good thing to me. And you proved it. And when I say that God provided every answer to my every prayer through bringing you into my life I truly believe it. How could I cross paths with one of Heaven’s most perfect angels?

Who cares to anchor me?
Who cares to love me right?
Who cares to remind me who I am? 
And hold my lonely hand in the dark of night?
Who wants to take an unloveable soul and love him back to whole? 
Who wants to pour into me as much as I pour into this world? 
Is it time someone holds my heart with gentle hands?
And remind me of all that I truly am?
Because sometimes i tend to forget when 3am visits.
I feel boring and unsatisfying and unwanted to exist with. 
Maybe i’m truly disgusting?
And maybe that’s all i really am…

Late night bus rides.
My mind drifts as I watch the Abby city Lights.
Each moment a reminder that i’m lonely.

I use to view myself as such a small being.

Now i see me in the proof of God all around me.
And over Skype calls I find his peace.
And i see his divine creation in her smile.

And her teaches me though lessons through her.
And I need to show him I can still walk in his light through hurt.

I hope my wording moves her spirit.
I hope to be her anchor when the tropical storms visit.
The power needs to be in Gods hand when the broken records start spinning.
Im tryna break the cycle of bad decisions.

Im trying fill the holes where there are pieces missin.
Reaching to save all the passions and moments that got wasted in 2023.
And vowing to make it up to myself this next year.

The love I hold is rare.
Im rare too.

She’s God’s proof.
Proof of everything.

I’m grateful for the image of himself that he crafted in Her.
I waste so many rough drafts with words that heal all my cuts.

I know im broken and bruised up.
I leave whats for God for God.
And i take the healing that’s mine and move forward.
Spending my heaviest nights listening to Foreward.

And sending my prayer to her domain for her.

For we.
For us.

I'm trying to hold a safe space for a healing heart.
And share her burden on my sore shoulders.

I’m nothing in the biggest picture.
She was hand plucked from heavens court.
She was born amongst the stars.
Of course a celestial walking amongst humans may have found the journey hard.

Coding what i feel into healing words.
And toasting to peace as i experience destruction.
I know i will be led through every obstruction.

And that these words maybe aren’t my own.
But speak through me even if the message gets lost along the way like childhood games of telephone.

Breathless at the way this shit flows.
And that it still helps with recovery.
And I like the idea that you may get to meet another me.

The version that would be thriving and glowing.
Not the same old damage being that life had grown bored of you knowing.

There were times were i had to scrape faith from the bottom of the barrel.
And times when my belief would overflow.
Is it wrong to say im at 70% when in my heart of hearts i know

That running in blind is a terrible way to go.

Beautiful Waste.

There has to be some beauty it the harshest lessons. Maybe the beauty is in the new version of reality I am able to exist in. The new boundaries I know i will never allow to be broken. The newfound ability to stand up for myself. I’m done being life’s doormat. I’m done giving and not receiving. I’m done living beneath what I deserve. And I’m starting to stand strong on all that I’m worth. And I’m starting to dust of the pieces of me that were packed on the shelf. The pieces I needed to address to become whole again. I also patch back together all the damage this year done me. And realize I can still be myself through it all and that’s beautiful. But believe me it gets hard. Thinking about how dumb I am. All the pain I carry on my own. Knowing i’ve hit the end of of some of my most cherished roads. I barely make it through some nights.
Sometimes my journal feels like all that i’ve got. But i don’t forget all the strength that God lent me. I don’t forget the moon in my night sky. But who else but these pages actually knows me? Who else actually cares for me? Who else wants me to grow? Who else loves me the way I deserve and stands on that? Who else refuses to judge me at my lowest…
There really does need to be a connectedness to all thats around me for me moving forward. Gratitude for the great design. Trust in God’s lessons and his timing. Trust that i can make it through. Trust that I’m loved. I question my place often. I question what it is that God really wants from me. I question my purpose. I question why … well I’ll leave the rest for me and the journal and my iphone notes. Happy to leave this year behind. Happy for the new slate each day gives. I’m happy for the journal receiving me with open ears. Lonely Dave signing out.

We can heal together.
Build an unbreakable shield together. 
And build a jebels hut that would withstand disaster. 
I anchor you, you anchor me even in stormy weather.
Or in troubled seas. 
You're the very air i breathe. 
We can get it right in round three.
Cause the third times the charm. 
I’ll always greet your spirit with welcoming arms.
I give you flowers even in the midst of this forest fire of life.
And i’ll work the land in your garden to make sure we grow it back right.
Brian McKnight the soundtrack of the night.

We’re the same soul in two separate bodies I’m convinced.
The love I hold for her suffocates me but it a good way.
It humbles me.
It’s me and the angelic moon you see. 

How can I play peacekeeper to her heavenly district?
She’s superlunary and i love the way she wears it. 
The moon in the night sky reminds me of her spirit. 


I send my prayers up into the ether and hope she receives all I ask for her life.
Bob Marley’s “Is this love” plays in the back of my mind.

And if she’s the moon I’d love to play the earth, 
but i’d be the caught in her orbit.
The one providing light to her night if she’d let me.
The one playing the harmonic undertone of the melody of her heartstrings.
And i’d be the one that lessens the tidal range of her emotions.
Speeding up my service of her, like pit stops,
 but also loving her in slow motion.
All while learning every crater under her surface that needs to be filled.
but also letting her know the craters are what make her the celestial beauty that she is.

I promise she is the main reason that I know that God lives. 
And i one day hope she would maybe feel the same.
If not i’ll just charge it to the game, and still love her every way. 
She is a glimpse of heaven that I get to experience every damn day. 
and i’m Grateful.

I’ve been trying to listen to what the source of all is guiding me to do. Trying to find my purpose and place amongst the divine planning. Trying to execute light in all my moments. 2023 broke me. And right now…. this time of year…. i can’t find no meaning to my journey.

I’ve learned that in this life that sometimes you can give your all and it still won’t be enough. My all tends to be so insignificant to others, and that’s just life.
Idk what to do about much right now. I’m tired of being ignored and undervalued. It’s sucks being someone that finds it hard to even make just one friend. It sucks losing in love. It sucks going to work and being blamed for everyone else’s shit. 

I’m tired. I think I’m a pretty good bet in this life. I think I’m worthy. I think I have a lot to offer. But listening to all life brings back my way makes means i Know whats real rather than what I think. I’ve been embarrassing myself for a good 20 years now. 2023 you win.

I've been finding my balance in these harsher realities.


It's me n my damaged ambitions
and the smile that I wear as the farce you see. 



Some demons cannot be exorcised unless you exercise the mind to face the parts you seek...

To run away from because it's hard to carry a heavy heart that’s weak.



I’m done the unhealthy dances of playing hide n seek. 

The visions of my future use to weigh heavy, empty, cold, and bleak. 

Empty handed promises are all that life has been handing me. 

Despite me giving everything to keep myself within the right planning. 



I was too easy to abandon. 



But now i'm growing from what was damaged. 

And pruning what was left standing. 

My roots are much stronger than what you can see up on my branches. 

The heart up on my sleeve is being stitched back together strand by strand. 

My next steps are branching past all that defines me from my past. 

And i'm passing the torch from the younger me who could barely manage. ..

to a growing and healthy man with patience temperament and good manners. 



This attempt the be more than my self limitations matters. 

And i’m grateful for all matters that shaped me as i move towards the fewture that i'm crafting. 



And molding. 



And the promises in love that i’m upholding. 

And to finding meaning even when i feel i’m at my smallest. 



Somedays the heartbreak weighs heavy i guess. 

I carry the weight of the world on my chest. 

And at these hours there’s no one to vent to but God. 



Developing the messaging in the midst of the damage is hard. 

But we gon get through it, even if the bumps and the bruises looks harsh.


Just gonna keep writing until i receive what’s written in the alignment of my stars 

Better from my atoms having collided with her heart. 

Thanking God everyday for the timing to experience his Sistine chapel level art. 



I get to see him in her Eyes and know his guidance through the part. 

She played in answering every prayer that i keep secret and the ones I say out loud. 



Somethings you know right from the start. 



And i’m starting to see A better ending for me even as things settle heavy and lonely. 

I know these lines are helping me find the silver lining in things. 



Aligning my spirit 

Hoping my lyrics reach the God within me. 


I’m outgrowing keeping silent when I’m upset 

I’m redefining my peace. 



Holding the mirror to myself ; hoping to see what i see 

when i see her. 



Trying not to plant any seeds while im hurt. 



Learning what battles are my battles and whats for God. 

Learning to find balance in moments i just need to shut up. 



Tired of GCSE level lessons and tough love. 



I hope to get it right this next year, I’m tired of wasted hours on my life’s punch card.