To the rarest one .
My source…
The fountain of my happy,
my water, my passion.
To someone truly uncommon in all the best ways.
A beauty that is unmatched.
And a talent that could never be compressed in a trap cage.
To my favorite star, shining bright in a universe of darkness.
I wanna be the biggest piece of peace that fills the caverns where your heart is.
I love you regardless.
Playing my role, and letting God guide my part in this.
You and I go together like an old locket with two parts to it.
To the rarest one.
My source…
The eye in my life’s storm.
The shore where I’m building my foundation.
You’re the reason that I’m learning to be patient.
Your smile’s my motivation.
To someone uncommon in all the best ways.
I compress waves of emotion just writing what you mean to me.
You’re the only queen to me ,
You got me on bended knee.
The only subject and thesis of my poetry.
To my favorite star, shining bright in a universe of darkness.
You’re the smartest.
What an honour it would be to spend a lifetime under the sky that your stars lit.
And to help you make a play out of the shitty hand of cards that,
Life dealt you to stop your progress.
I said I love you regardless.
Let’s get this right from now on miss.
…
In the verge of a breakdown self transparency is key.
28 was absolutely horrid and 29 looks like more of the same for me. And as much as that sucks I’m smart enough to know it is well deserved. The nothing i received is the nothing i was supposed to have. I hear the message .
Maybe pinpointing why my karmic sentence is so heavy and painful will help me attract some positivity my way.
Heres to another bad bday. And more lonely nights. Goodbye blog.
??
The parts of me I cannot see need some tender touch.
They need a good soak in the splendid sun.
To be wrapped in a hug of someone willing to lend me love.
Can anybody send me some?
I’ve seen myself shatter into a Billion pieces.
I don’t even know what makes me who I am anymore.
I’m down bad trying to to find something that I can be down for.
Goodbye to the damage I receive that no longer serves me.
I’m on to better things and healthier servings.
Mastering the Messaging
Never taking for granted, the seeds that I planted.
I know this might sound crazy but i really do count her wins as my blessings. Like if all the good that God has planned for my life went to making sure she gets what we pray for then that’s okay by me. I heard God’s voice this past summer. Felt his presence. And get reminded very often recently the wonders he can work. Every time we are in desperate need of something to work out it has.
Never packing up the tools it takes for me to work at her grasses.
God went unnecessarily Crazy on her design. She rivals pure beauty. She’s what seeing the Sagrada Familia for the first time feels like. She’s like sunsets over the Annapurna Mountain Range. She’s like the full moon that left me stuck in my tracks on Matipwili community phase. Superlunary. Empyrean. She’s like the first bite on a perfectly seasoned dish… but she’s also like every bite thereafter tasting even better than the last
She’s The Ginger Bread who I hope bakes well from my love’s sweet molasses.
I’m trying to master patience. I’m trying to master the man God wants me to be. A man she could be proud of. A man that leaves the world enriched by me having lived in it. I’m trying to sit with my pain and understand why I feel the way I do. I want to be bigger and better than it though. The pain that is. I want to love her how God loves her. And build her the way she deserves to be built. I’m grateful to all the goes right in her life. however, small the wins may be seeming I know that they are massive. That she’s shining amongst darkness. That she’s stepping into her purpose against all odds. She is divinity.
Tryna have me a lifetime of treats handful of her perfect a**.
Heaven (Her)
She’s heaven sent.
With a beauty so divine it would make the Heaven’s mad.
That she walks amongst the humans and not through the golden streets of heaven’s land.
Her perfect smile taught me what “heaven on earth” could’ve truly meant.
Oh what a pleasure to my eyes to be able to steal these glimpses of Heaven’s planning.
The elegance of her design could only have been crafted by the God of heaven’s hand.
She’s heaven’s purity and truly each one of Heaven’s answers.
To my prayers and my darkness, thank you for the clarity in the beauty of Heaven’s message.
Gratitude
Tonight’s mood is gratitude.
Gratitude for things both small and grandiose .
Gratitude for things that define me and all the minuscule details.
Gratitude for the most high and for the lessons he teaches.
Gratitude for my mind and body and spirit.
Gratitude to beings here, right where I am today.
Gratitude to the pain that will turn me into a better person.
Gratitude to my loneliness for visiting again and remind me I still have a lot to work on.
Gratitude for Bones and for the aches in my bones reminding me that I am alive. That I am something tangible.
Gratitude for absence and gratitude to all that will visit me.
Gratitude for the capacity of my heart.
Gratitude for my strength but also the strength I witnessed everyday that inspired me.
Gratitude to this blog.
Gratitude to all these dark and lonely night because I know I will strive for lighter days.
Gratitude to …
2024
When I think of 2024 i think of opportunities of growth.
Who do i want to be? What do I want to see for myself this year? When will I start to work towards my dreams?
I want to step into myself more. I want to explore more of Canada whilst I’m here. I wanna see more of the world. Meet people and learn new things. Connect more with the indigenous culture. Love harder. Be better. I want to challenge myself to be better than all the mistakes of 2023. I want 29 to be more successful and more complete. I want to believe in myself. Gain back my self-confidence. Stand up for me. Love me. Hold myself down. I understand in life sometimes you have to take bumps, but I don’t want to hide my bruises and scars. I want to wear them and let them be a sign of where i came from and what i’m striving towards. And I’m striving towards greatness.
What do I see for myself? I’m still deciding because the year is still young. But i want to laugh. uncontrollably… until my gut is pained. I want to get good grades. I want to work hard and make the most of my internship. i want to relearn to love myself despite whatever has caused me tot doubt that. because i want to grow in love as i feel like i always have. i want to make others happy. and although it’s difficult to make any new friends at this time in my life i want to leave others fuller by having met me. I want to become a man she would’ve been proud of. I want to become a man God is proud of. can i be the reason she smiles and laughs? idk… I HAVE TO FINALLY FINISH THIS DAMN NOVEL???? summer time for sure mf.
NOW NOW NOW NOW. my dreams are mines to claim and i will be doing it every day. a little bit every day is better than nothing so her i go.
Hi Big G
Outta patience.
Tryna have a taste of the better life.
My mouth bitter with the taste of spite.
i hope i swallow it before it turns to venom.
vivid replays of my damage.
my goods are fragile and unmanaged.
at least i’m lengthening my temper.
I hope God answers.
this next call might be my most desperate.
We inchea.
Struggling to make sense of these dark turns.
The light in my world seems dimmer now.
the pain has started to boil from the low simmer now.
I’m proud of the man I’m becoming.
Maybe I just wanna feel something.
the light in my world is flickering and fading.
growing impatient with my safe havens.
Wishing for someone to save me like old memory cards in my psp.
its me and me, but also me v me.
The taste of heaven i was rewarded was too much for somebody just like me.
all my wildest dreams were highly unlikely.
the darkness i emit would smother her lighting.
Feb 14 2024.
God took his time on you.
It’s like he got deep into his most expensive bag and pulled out his most precious creation.
It’s like all the shooting stars and shining moons conspired to let their sister walk amongst the humans.
It’s a radiant beauty.
Timeless and unmatched.
She could be the subject of every museum painting that i would spend time to gawk at.
And my happiness dances with curve of her smile.
And the hue of your encapturing eyes illuminate the colours of God’s promise to love me.
her beauty is the definition of divinity.
earth’s best.
but really she’s an empyrean vision.
ethereal & otherworldly barely fit the description.
gorgeous.
if you don’t get it by now she looks better than all the potential in my wordings.
She is everything and it shows clear in her person.
she’s tilicho lake purity.
she’s the milky way peeking through the night sky.
She’s a supermoon and i howl her praises.
Superlunary is the base of her beauty’s equation.
she’s snowfall on a missed school day.
She’s the push and pull of the ocean caressing a mid summer’s sun rays.
Dream Big 