I drop my phone in the snow.

I bend down to pick it up. And check to make sure it’s okay.As I reach to put in back into my picket everything around me slows .

A butterfly that was flying around me stops right before my eyes. All the sounds quiet completely.

My body feels 10x heavier than it ever normally does.The hairs on my arm stand tall and i feel a chill shivers down my spine. I feel the air around me become suffocatingly still.

All i can manage to do is move my eyes. Dart them around to take in my surroundings.

I get a sick feeling in my gut.

And all of a sudden theres a shift in the atmosphere.

An immense presence of feeling like i’m being watched by someone intent on killing me. Bloodlust. I can’t manage to look behind me but the feeling is so excruciatingly poignant.

I close my eyes and take slow deep breaths. I drawn in the energy of nature around me. A long held practice of the elders in my village. A form of meditation that they say if done right. Can lead to superhuman abilities.

I hear a rumble and get jolted out of my trance in an animalistic frenzy. My instincts kick in and before i know it i’m diving out of the way of a falling tree.

“Damn you were able to break the effects of my Time stamp ability nobody’s ever done that before.” I heard a deep voice grumble from behind me.

I lay on the ground and my body feels too heavy to even stand up . Then into my visions steps a giant male. Bulging muscles. He looked to be at least 9 feet tall. Towering over me.

“Get up.” The mans reaches out his hand and pulls me to my feet.

I’m now soaked from landing in all this snow. And i’m start to shiver from this extreme cold.

“Are you the son of Ven?”

‘ I am. But how do you know’

“You’re the last born descendant of the Ancient Sage clan of YVen. I had to make sure you had the ability to break out of my time stamp. No one has ever been able to completely jump while under my ability before though. They special ones can normally only move a single body part at most”.

“Im sorry for catching you off guard like this though i need to be sure it was you.”

‘So you throw a whole tree at me!?!?!?’

Why me though.l?

Im nobody.

Another day. Another blog post.

I let today slip by and didn’t even get to writing much.

But tomorrow I’ll give out somethin special i’m sure of it.

have a peaceful Saturday tomorrow and let’s look for the best in ourselves. I’m really tryingto becoming more and more aware of my shortcomingss. and reallyanalyze howi can grow. so yeah

This ish is harder than i thought it would be. But here goes my post for the day.

Bump that I Don’t Wanna feel No More by Reggie though.

I’ve always been drawn to the places that make me feel the smallest.

Mountains. Rainforests. Plains. The ocean.

I can’t tell you all the emotions i’ve been through while stood out at our Ginesh Himal viewpoint in Chapthok. Watching the top of the world tower down on me. Listening to Chance’s coloring book. Wondering when Frank was gonna make new music. While the world stretched out in front on me. Crying. Laughing. Writing. Singing. Dancing. Watching the sun dance along the mountain ridge as darkness approached. Then watching a thunder storm rage over the range as a true showing of nature anger left me in awe as the thunder boom shook the whole country. I was small.

Or what about the time in Borneo. When Perry, Fakey, Ken, Kunor, Adam, (maybe a few others) and I woke up early to see the sunrise. How awe-strikingly beautiful and overwhelming it was to see the forest come to life. The hum of what I’m guessing were cicadas turned to a belting opera of a song. The sun start to Bob Ross the sky with colour and light. Three hornbills squawking overhead. Flying off into the distance. The flowers start to stand. And I feel small. Lost. Aware of my surroundings. Thankful to the jungle spirits for letting me have that moment. Thankful that I was spending time with good people. Thankful for the love of my life that I was, at that time, interacting with in our earliest stage of speaking. Small.

The time I think I hallucinated a tree walking the plains of Tanzania. We were walking in this plain for a couple hours. And the mountains on the horizon wasn’t getting any bigger. I saw an Eagle fly by (there’s a picture somewhere so i know that existed) and i was thirsty as fuck cause water was hard to come by. Clean water even harder. And I thought i saw a tree. I just remember asking if we could take a break under this one tree. And the person next to me asked what tree. Could they have been hallucinating that there wasn’t a tree there. Probably not. But damn i was exhausted. Thirsty . Low down. Fit. Hot. Wanting some damn water. *Man i want some water right now, lemme fo to the fridge*. But yeah, i had to slow my breathing. Focus on my steps. one Step. One breathe. One moment at a time. And when we got to our campsite best believe it was the hugest relief. Just happy to have the chance to get off my feet. Then that night in my sleep i was attacked by fire ants. I woke up irritated as ish. But then i remember where i was. I was in their world. Rude to sleep on top of their home. And just had to remember I’m such a small part or a global ecosystem.

‘Man scrap that. Bump that Fye Fye by Tobe Nwigwe that mans spews pure energy and Black familihood to a tee.’ I’m hype.

What about all the times I’ve rose to the ocean. it’s the place that’s saved me the most. Chaplin bay. Watch hill park. Flatts inlet. Bermuda has some of the most peaceful and inviting water anywhere in the world. But the world is mostly water. It touches every part of this damn place. I can stand at the edge of a cliff and it would swallow my whole if i fall. But as i look out i realize how small i am. That my horizon is not anyone else’s. Both metaphorically and literally. I see the waves and i’m reminded to look up to the sky and give thanks to the sun and moon. For life and guidance. To God for being that G. And for the universe for taking it easy on me so far. I wonder what waves someone small like me can make. Or do i need to be as big as the moon.

Probably not. As long as the people i love most can see the ripples of whatever i step into We good.

As long as the one I love. Can ride the waves with me. And support me in the lows and highs. We good. and long as the waves carry me forward I’m good.

And it must be okay to be small.

To not know my place. But maybe my place is to be lost along the bigger things. Forever wandering and exploring and expanding myself.

And through every big thin i encounter I carry something new with me and i eventually become big in my own right. And i can be a big thing to something in this world.

I really just want to spread positivity to everyone i know. As always I’m here for anyone reading this. And its always love.

Post S: I’m gonna put on some Audrey Nuna to end the night.

P. script S: im not reading over this bih. Pure red lines and mistakes prolly but we in here day 3/7 .

P.S.S.S. Take a look at some random post related pics in a way

Random thoughts…

• I have a huge lack of understanding of where I’m supposed to be. And how to get there. And what in my life os supposed to be guiding me along and what i should cutting off.
• I’m tryna to learn to be keen with viewing how i interact with the matter around me. And how my actions affect others on this journey.
• I am worth whatever comes my way.
• I am on a wave constantly moving. The ups and downs are natural and you get through them all.
• Give thanks.
• I’m tired a 9:15 this is fire

I Found a way to heal my curses with pens.
And surround myself with people that don’t mind who I’ve been.
Who know all my sins and hold me tightly to them.
But keep me grounded and helped me find my smile once again.

It is what it is.
At the beginning of adulthood
Just searching for some ends.
No fucks given.
We need a Kama sutra  
The lower down you get,
The more the karma starts to suit ya.

Switch it up another gear.
Another level.
another battle.
Inside me darkest caves I feel better
The demons pulled me up a chair to dine and mingle with em. 

Just going through the motions.
You’d think i’m a zombie walking if you caught me in the open.
Apocalyptic purple saber swinging.
Purple skies and longer days in swing and
My mindstate finally less dark than my summer tan
Blink four times and I bet the cold days come again.

I call into the purple matter 
To hold my hopes and dreams. 
And For the better times to stay.
Dark as the night sky.
But Painted with the tears we cry.

The stars are our hope holders. 
Call out for solace when I’m feeling lower.
Low as dropped to my knees. Hands raised screaming out. 
Those that came before us guide us brightly like supernovas. 

Hide inside from the attention grabbers 
Need  some Doses of dopamine. 
Its dope to have met you in this life.
Im a nerd for you.
Tryna learn you.
You know I mean it.

Time running away from us.
Harmony like at peace with the waves I’m riding.
And a break from my depressive ways is in front of us. 
Feel my bad times decaying. 

Yeah.

So i’m going to try and post something everyday for the next 7days.

Something i write that day. And yeah.

My soul’s bruised.
Trampled and blown out.
I see your soul glow.
So bright I’m amused.
I hope I match you
Before you burn out.

Hard times lead to god ties.
I wonder why it’s when I reach my lowest 
That I seek the most high.
I cry the loudest 
When the pressure’s silence
Weighs on me like rock lee’s anklets. 
Why is it the stories of found Religion 
Come from the deepest hurts.
From the overwhelming need to connect 
While all my demons lurk.
Is it a part of his grand plan 
Or is it freedom of choices to keep us locked in. 
Ways To keep us crawing to him again and again
Or just to stroke and ego akin only to satan.


I wonder.
Is every decision I make  under some type of microscope.
Truly valuable in its own space. 
Truly free and for me to mold.
Or predecided and already wrote.
Why is that the troughs are just the “way it goes”.
But the peaks are few and far between. 
Yet i’m supposed to thank you for all 
even though it seems like it’s all just up to some sort of destiny.
Maybe I don’t even have my own breath to breathe.
And rock bottom has been the worst and the best friend to me.
And somewhere floating in the middle is all i know.
And all i’ve ever been. 
Why is it that I’m supposed to reach out to you but you rarely if ever show.
Any sign that God ties lead to better times. 

And Hard times lead to inner growth. 
And growth leads to understanding.
That the destination is final so either way just enjoy the planning. 
And if you fall sometimes just flip back up and hope you stick the landing.
Because as cruel as god’s wrath could be 
It’s prolly just the same as this fucking planet’s.
Heaven and hell could all be just a state of mind.
And it could go in a flash like barry Allen. 
I wonder if any of this really even matters.

Hard times lead to poem writing.
When the pen and the pad meet,
My mind’s less frantic
 and my heart’s less heavy. 
Hard times stained pages
Torn and battered soul. 
Hard times as fickle as the seasons come and go 
But i hope they outlast us.
Flow soothe your soul like ginger bread molasses.

Hood hot with the stories we told ourseves to feel better.
Self destructive tendencies, too many ways we kill each other.
It gets grimy before you can heal. 
Layers shedding, like a healing blister feels.

Revealing I’m lesser than I put forth to the public eye.
Dark as the night sky.
But Painted with the tears we cry.

The stars are our hope holders. 
Call out for hope when I’m feeling lower.
Low as dropped to my knees. Hands raised screaming out. 
Those that came before us guide us like supernovas. 

Underhanded practices.
Dug myself Deeper than the hole where my passion and my depression mix.
Learned lessons.
My fewture tainted with the mistakes i made in my adolescence years