You are the wave that destroys. You are the wave that brings newness to me.

I sway in your wake. I float with the ripples of your emotions.

Pushing… me away.

Pulling… my back in and getting me to stay.

Your presence is tidal in size. I drown in your power.

I lose myself.

I look out to the horizon and all i see is the ocean i feel trapped in.

But this ocean also gives me life. And i dont mind. I wanted to be here for eternity. But now the storm clouds roll overhead. your destructiveness rises with your anger. Maybe drowning me is a part of your intention.

Maybe being alone and lost at sea is what i deserve.

Maybe i’ll find myself again. When i wash up on shore torn and battered and beaten.

Maybe i’ll rise up and find a sense of purpose outside of that ocean i once needed. Maybe .

I hope to carry you with me forever. I in all i do.

Dear ocean i love you.

Wow ou Wow.

This summer has been one hectic, destructive, tumultuous space for me.

I’ve rarely found and moments of true peace or happiness. I’ve barely found space for anything.

97.32% of the forces moving through my personal space seem to be set out for destruction. I’ve taken beatings and my soul is tired.

Every couple days I cry out for help. For better. But it falls on deaf ears.

Its fucking tiring.

All in all everything I’ve allowed myself to be put through this summer now has my insecurities resurfacing. Well it’s more like I’m sinking deeper into them as the darkness consumes me. My “light”, both ways, has left me stranded to find a way out on my own.

The self doubt is coming crash in.

Maybe God will bless me with some destructive interference this last week of my summer in Bermuda. Maybe these two grand, overwhelming, forces will cancel each other out.

Mr Clay told me “true friends will always build you up. They’d never put you in a worse place.” Maybe those words need to be tattooed on my heart and spirit…

I’ve had to be patient.
Having to keep at it until i figure out my place in this.
All while working to master where my purpose’s placement is.
Summertime sped me up to an uncomfortable pace.

I needed to slow down.
The words that i write, can’t make things right that’s something i know now.
Every day i gain perspective,
My demons and I stand at a showdown. 
They probably have the upper hand,
they whisper to me that i’d be better below ground.

In every poem I jot I search for her in the pages. 
I search for healing to greet me with special hand shakes.
so that the ink bleeds into the pad and better days find me again.
I’m just trying to backpedal from my wits end.

I need some release 😫

I guess he’s an Xbox and I’m just a deck of cards…

Or whatever Ceelo Green said in ‘F*ck You‘

This summer heat is ridiculous. But at least I sweat away the pain. And by the time my day’s over there’s no more liquid left for me to cry.

Someone bless me with some air conditioner please.

I feel the pain.
I feel the timing.
2023 will turn out just fine. 
Let me take you by the hand and be your spiritual guide.
Let me take my time with ya heart like i’m aging fine wine.
Your presences divine.
Or at least heavenly crafted. 
Let me take you to a better place after.
After the pain, after the lost of yourself 
Let me bundle up ya mind, and love it back to itself. 
You are God’s greatest design, and i promise to build ip your wealth
And drag you out the gutter while i’m still drowning myself.

Earthgang- Ambeyonce 
JID - Better Days
JID - Stars
Noname - Gospel
Ab Soul - Do Better
Vince Staples - Sundown Town
Jazmine Sullivan - Girl Like Me
SZA - Notice Me
Tems - Ice T
Mavi- Reason!
Steve Lacy - Give You The World
Smino - Wyoming 

All i need is a real second chance.
I promise you won’t regret it. 
I promise bad habits will be left behind, 
and tears in ya mind will be mended.
you’ve already seen it first hand and. 
your heart couldn’t possibly be in better hands.
Your spirit any more protected.
The way I plan to love you I am working on perfecting.
You as perfect as Black Bay’s sunset,
or how a plate of pasta on a weekend is.
I wanna look deeper into your stellar mind.
This shit is atom splitting, like a Christopher Nolan design.

Direct me in the ways to serve you best.
I lay it all bare so you know there’s nothing else to get up off my chest.
I want to lockpick the maps to your treasures. 
And pull you up like Arthur to your excalibur. 
Have you ever heard of love this good during a quarter life crisis.
a love full of long nights laughing to “Merry Chryslers” 
a love of adventures and songs and breathing each other in.
the flame in my soul has definitely found its twin.
let me in and let me win.

Dave Boi. Dumb as fuck boi.

Summer 2023. Post rating … 0

I am flippin tired mate.

But I will push through. These sleeps tend to be torturous and harsh. And tbh the lack the “sleep” part. But I’m grateful for another day.

I will intentionally make this week one of healing and growth. I will complete a certain amount of tasks. I will do right by those closest to me.

Every day I wake up feels like a Monday Morning. Every day the pain stays the same. I am waiting for it to get a little bit easier. I’m praying. I am doing. I am walking in purpose. I am shining light.

Thank you mother Earth for my breath. Thank you God for my consciousness. Thank you Kyts for your support.

The end of August will be kinder than the start. Maybe I can have fulfill my promise to myself that I would have a good month. It starts today though.