With my fruit as bruised as it is would you still pick me?
Save me… savor me?
Take care of my damaged seed , replant and nurture me?
Stand as a scarecrow to ward all that would throw their curse at me?
Let my garden blossom into something thats worth seeing?
Am I worth the effort ?
Does anyone see him?
The man i want to be…
The garden i can become?
Am i anyone’s “the one”?
Monday Morn Madness
The weight of it came out of nowhere.
Steam rolling over me, no direction & no care.
Not a worry about the damage that would be done to me.
I just want to know that i’m loved, but that may be too much for life to provide for me.
Quality time was just a mask for quality lies.
I’m the playstation controller one plays with.
Nobody cares to come save him,
the bare and shattered David.
My confidence had left me over a year ago.
My spirit is still tearing though.
My depression is wearing away at my weary soul.
I wear my heart on my sleeve and the shit was knocked to the floor.
I guess this is the karmic sentence i had to serve.
Probably as well as any destruction a human could possibly deserve.
Laughed at because i was coming up last.
But thats the story of my life tbh…
For a minute my faith was shaky at best.
I smile through the sad, cry through the mad and only can pray for some happy.
I hope the angels take over the battle that’s happening.
Everything is you
I said everything is you
I feel good when i let you consume.
me.
But it was silly of me to think.
i would’ve ever deserved a yes when i dropped down to my knees.
i’m not deserving of anything .
cause nothing is me
Ah fsck
Let your inner child take the wheel.
Approach life with the same curiosity that once consumed you.
take on the pleasure of learning something knew.
take a bet on you.
pray for better days, no more battling blues.
when you put you first, see how the universe sends blessings to you.
anchor
Let me be your anchor.
Your peace of mind when you just can't take it.
let your inner child take the wheel.
let me be the pilot on you steadying ship as you heal.
Seasons
Honor the season that you’re in. Seasons don’t change overnight. It takes months. So if the season is healing…. it’s okay to be fine one day and a wreck the next.
Look at how spring can be warm at day and cold at night. Cold and gloomy one day.. sunny the next. Summer can bring hurricanes just as it can bring a beautiful sunset… you get the picture.
If the season means sitting still and getting back in touch with yourself. Then start to honor all the small things that make you who you are. practice happiness with intention. Commit to the things that add to your life.
If the season is turbulence. Honor yourself. Understand what it is that is making things chaotic for you. experience the storm as it occurs and then start to assess the damages. Figure out how to patch yourself back together. Get help. Talk to people. Don’t lose yourself to the storm. That way you can enjoy a calmer season when it comes. Seasons are temporary.
Fall back in love. Break curses. Talk about how you feel. Stay up with someone you love. Laugh. Chase passions. Fail. Succeed. Let the seasons bring you newness like the falling of leaves. Or the fresh spring bloom.
2024… each day is a chance to get this life thing right.
Price-tag/Spring
The
lilac colored flowers start to bloom atop the moss covered branches. It’s time to replant ourselves and take a bet on the spring romances. I don’t pick the flowers to smell them. Just like I no longer pick the scabs of my wounds that are healing. The change of seasons matched the change in my spirit that has become appealing.
I don’t want to have to distract myself to feel okay. I want to be able to sit with myself and know my place. It’s time to do spring cleaning. Calling in the Warrens to stand toe to toe with my demons. I know God put this mountain in my way for a reason. And I’m almost at the peak. The battle always gets hardest when you know your close to your goal. When everything you want is within reach. You might even sabotage yourself and make the journey even more steep.
But not me anymore. There’s beauty in the treacherous battle uphill. Theres appeal in overcoming the impossible. I know on the other side of my summit is there sweetest rewards I could hold. Like being a healed man that can properly hold her mending heart. And finishing all the dreams that i forgot I even started. And in the meantime i pray blessings over my springtime. I want to make the most of it. No more pricetags on my soul because there’s no condition to hold a piece of it.
She’s the biggest piece of my springtime peace.
…
I can be invisible in intimate spaces.
Under-appreciated.
Everybody just come along and take advantage of David.
why not?
i try hard?
Use me til I’m bled dry.
don’t shed a tear for me.
don’t even take a peep into the pain i carry.
Sjsh
Feel the cage door opening.
My mind is breaking out of the twenty one miles that defined me.
Me blowing this new perspective seems highly unlikely.
I’ll only get better with time and with her love right beside me.
Cleansing my spirit , renewing my mental state, keep my blessings by me.
Im a product of broken homes and destructive tendencies.
It had laid the foundational plan of the man you see.
Since 2023 i was quiet about what was ailing me.
Cant hold on in silence no more thats just failing D.
Im wearing the lords armor.
I wont let no other demon come and harm her.
I fall short but i wont give up on me for us.
i pray for Gods grace for us.
I dont have to be my worser parts
I can step into the day with a lighter heart.
A brighter light.
A clean slate.
Tomorrow’s what i will make of it.
I will no longer play games with it.
I know im grander than even my mind lets itself believe some days.
but i will lean into all my better ways
Amen.
Shall i delete this blog page? I think maybe its time has come.
Dream Big 