Decomposing Peace.
I let myself down the most. 
At least, the lease the darkness holds on me is ceasing.
Gave until this inner creek ran dry.
The hurt is the source I cant lie.

My spirit was torn, trying to find the healing's cost I can't buy.
Whats the reward?
For hoarding failures , if at least I did try?
Whats all of this for?

If God's gonna hold me true to the things that nibble at my mind. 
The missteps I tumbled for. 
I miss steps & crumble for that drop in my gut I can't ignore.
I closed doors.  
& God still made a way. 
Pushing memories away, 
to a space they can't escape. 
But then revisit them on my dark days. 
Unsure of where to place the pain and anger that I hold. 
Or why this chapter of my life is retelling stories I already unfolded.