I hide the monster that I am behind these blistered hands.
I'm burdened in the heavy of this uncatered to broken heart.
The smile I wear a facade, I know karma taxed me.
Navigating the awkwardness of the space between being two worlds apart.

Time heals all, but the debts too grand.
Imagine a temporal bank statement this long. 
The reaper laughed at the cards in my hands.
So I started searching within.
but the peaceful waves hold uncurrents of anger.
Nonchalant through spiritual danger but resolute in the lesson learned.
I hold the pain close to dispose these words.
And the words get held tighter because they're all I have.
My happy comes in patches through the looking glass. 

Buyer beware this is damaged goods.
Simmering in supressed pain. 
This level of unbothered is just a thinning thread, coin flip from explosive. 
Nobody notices the empty, 
Everybody's shocked when you clap back.
"I didn't know" the quiet, timid one had that much depth of retaliation in him. 
I couldn't be seen until the last call. 
I'm the one that you laugh at, then call on when shit hits the ceiling, windows and the walls. 
Then you forget about me when convenience means reciprocity. 
I'm not enough, it's easy to push my decomposing mental to the side and flee. 
Fall back into what hurts you and then repeat the cycle. 
And drag me along, for the light I provide. 
Then snuff mine like survivor tribe. 
This is my redemption island arc.
The pen the suture, my confidence the scar.