Lost and Found myself in the destructive patterns of a fatal first love.
Never felt a lonliness as heavy as the moments I fasted from our damaged delights.
Two dancers whose intertwining groove never fit right. 
A recipe for violence I knew from my parent's marriage dimming light. 
My misplaced anger. 
The sign said Open Hearted but  seceretly filled with self-hatred bottled explosive danger. 
I can't pay pennance for the hurt I authored.
I can't save us from the crashing course.
Products of broken homes, trying to build from pourous cores.
Having yet to realize all the troubled tendencies our inner children had absorbed.
And all the paradigms of human memory we would walk in. 
The feelings tucked away that could've been fixed with us talking. 
Hurtful moments I'm caught in.
The dumb shit I relive.
North york winters, my heart's covered in scar tissue while my mental's evolving.