Starting to remember how to forgive myself.

For staying too long where I didn’t want or need to be.

For putting me last.

For losing sight and a hold of the best parts of me.

For believing I was worthless.

For all the unkind words I’ve spoken and written to me.

For lost moments and ungratefulness.

For putting the pen down too often.

For knowing where certain destructive paths would lead but still walking down them alone.

For living for what I wanted things to be, and struggling to accept all as it was.

For wavering connections with God.

For losing a winnable battle. And trying to win battles I should have been okay win losing.

For all the unplaced and untamed anger I hold.

For the venomous words I’ve spewed.

For days spent in the mirror calling myself an Ugly piece of shit.

For putting dying situations on life support.

For not drinking enough water.

For not reading or creating enough.

For not clearing out my hair and then having to literally lose so much damn volume.

For not exploring all the things that make ME happy.

For chasing too many sunsets and not living enough days.

For stagnancy , and lethargy.

For not exploring more music.

For the prayers I keep inside instead of just sending them to the ether.

For all the days I feel like I needed …

For not loving myself while I lived in the absence of love…