Counting my blessings.
I can count them on one hand but never doubt the lessons.
Raising both hands to God because I know im just his messenger.
and I ask him one question.
 How do i continue to be the best for her?

As low as i am how do i step into my role as a man?
not trying to be a failure again.

I deserve the heavy karma
The heartbreak 
The drama

I deserve the long nights i have no one to turn to.
i’d bare the brunt of the world if it meant her soul didn’t have to hurt too.
i honour her before you:

theres no parapet to stop the tumble into depression. 
But this time i wear armor i didnt have before.
the drop won’t be as long or as bruising.
walking in the rain to get home from work has my mind spiraling loosely.