Take me back to summer '22. 


I'm sure it was a better time for me.


The call of new adventures and the pull of the me unseen. 

Eyes gleaming at the possibilities of new slates and I am not talking limestone roofing.

I'm talking the opportunity to chase everything I ever wanted 
and to be able to do it loosely.



All the daydreams I dreamt while wading in the mid Atlantic blues...

Running from the pain I forgot I knew.



And now 2024 lurks like Gargamel.

And all the damage done by the blues of 2023 made it hard to tell

if i would make it through to see those mid Atlantic blues ever again.



I know the blues like reminiscing on expeditions and parting friends.

I know me and my damaged soul were shaking hands 

and knocking over barriers that kept us stuck on the shoreline and eroding sands.

Because now it was sink or swim for Simms.



Was i gonna fall victim to the damage or was i gonna start seeking wins?

And start to float atop the mid Atlantic blues that were seeping in... 

And like a lie-low I could see through all blues that were beneath me and
were keeping me in 

Patterns that would leave me stuck up in my shattered ways... 



The mid Atlantic summer blues had me reframing every inch of my battered being. 

And seeking proper ways to heal in search of better things. 

And finding the better in the things that had stolen my will to carry on 
like I realized two peoples of baggage were still to much to hold onto as i stepped into carrier plains.


To fly high above the mid Atlantic blues hoping I could leave them behind for good this time. 

But not in a shameful way like they didn't make me the me I was becoming ,

But in a way that's like its more to life than staying stuck up in a place that seemed like it had to be forced to love me.


Out of all the painful lessons this year has taught me. 
The ones that sting the most I'm still uncovering:



this year has taught me... 
that I am replaceable and I had to come to grips with that. 
that I'm a doormat and people don't mind using me and stepping over me, so I have to develop that. 
that maybe making one friend in Canada isn't meant to be? 
that I'm alone all by myself with no one to care for me.
that David goes unseen.

but it is okay. 
I give my all in everything, 
and now I express my gratitude for toxic bondage loosening....
I hope those Mid Atlantic blues know that they saved me. 
when i had nobody else to hear my cries...
deep at night... 
my pain still cuts me deep inside...