Sometimes i found myself wishing i was him.

That’s the rabbit hole i lost myself spiraling down.

Too caught in the moment to look within.

And find my worth because i felt my time was up.

I lost all comfort in my skin.

Gave of myself until my spirit shredded.

Maybe it’s natural when somebody else comes along and does it better with no effort.

The summer spiral had my mind hectic.

When I was wishing i was him.

I tore myself down at every moment.

My self hatred was potent.

How could anyone love me when I lost myself to destructive motives.

Then I wished someone would see me.

And show my value in my existence.

That didn’t come either.

So back i spiraled down in the trash tendencies i was wishin.

Soul splittin.

Mind ruptured.

I packed my self/love up in the cupboard.

I let it sit collecting dusts.

Wanting to be wanted with carnal lust.

Or to be wanted in any way.

Connecting the things i packed away back to my self believe that gone astray.

I step into this next month…

Finding it hard to be me.

To break away from ‘worthless’

To no longer convince myself i was worth-less.

Kk

Comment how you practice self love. Or how you bring yourself out of self hating practices? And what saves you?