I deserved all the pain I received.
I took all of the rotten seeds.
I made sure to plant your garden anew.
Not realizing all along the rotten seeds were causing me to rot through.
Through and through I found myself underneath the bottom of dirty shoes.
Stomped out and bled thin,
until my darkness and pain, heartbreak, and self-hate were all that my heart knew.
My best days, were still less appealing than the worse pains and ways that were uncouth.
Someone should’ve told me my heart couldn’t take a shattering this bad,
then still be put back together again with only scotch tape and hot glue.
Dutty Dispose, the epithet because summer told me take my happy and my dreams with me and just throw them in the dump too.
Too many days I spend with nightmares again and life blues.
3am my best friend now I know I’m not like you.
I’m the bottom of the social ladder,
so getting laughed at takes me back to the little boy that ran from healing, who…
Who shakes my hand right where stand and says we’re moving on anybody else care to roll shru?