(Start with yesterday’s post, “Enjoy Right Now, Today) then come here.

I’m sitting at Black Bay again.

The war I’m fighting this week is heavy. The mountain I have to climb is Annapurna high. The goal I’m trying to find is locked in the deepest parts of the Labyrinth of my mind.

Each time I open a door to what I think may solve the problem, another door appears in the distance. Each door an opportunity to challenge myself to grow through the discomfort. Another obstacle and challenge to overcome. Another childhood trauma to tame and adulthood failure to forgive.

How can I get to my end goal of self-love though if I only focus on getting there. I have to face every challenge behind each door with full intention.

I have to focus and be real of how whatever the door holds makes me feel. I have to be honest with myself in how I plan to overcome it. I have to forgive sometimes because certain things are just not my own fault but just circumstance and based on the actions of others.

A lot of what I feel is based off the actions of others. For instances always feeling inferior because I’m a little lamer and nerdier than the average guy. A moment like my old man telling me that “only sissies read” because i asked for a bookstore certificate for my birthday. This pops in as something I couldn’t control but was affected by. All the bullying I faced growing up too. Many other things that would make this post too long. But all the things your family and friends joke about that make you a little bit insecure about something. I can’t hold that anymore in my 29th damn year.

That aside todays moment of intention is being patient with myself. I get frustrated often that I fall back into the same mistakes. The same ways of destructive communication. The same ways of punishing myself.

Communication is the main one. I’m a horrible communicator when it comes down to it. I’m working on it and have to just forgive myself for failing sometimes. One thing I’m trying to practice is immediately apologizing to people if I feel I’ve slipped up. I’m just trying to do better.

I’m sure we all are. And if anyone’s reading this you’ll get there I’m sure. Hit me up and we can discuss ways we’re working on being better.

Question of the post: Whats One thing you’re working on in your personal life right now? Don’t be afraid to drop a comment or send me a message saying what it is.

P.S. the two songs of this post are Coco Jones’: ICU. And Daniel Caesar’s: We Find Love. The latter is a song me and a old good friend played about 200 times in a 3 day span. I hope he’s better off than when we first encountered the song. I know we’ll all make it to places where we are better off.