Is my safest place my biggest trap ?
I find myself enjoying the sunshine when it peaks through.
Reminiscing on all the places where I left pieces of my heart.
And longing for understanding on how to play my part.
A couple of the screws holdin my shit together been squeaking loose.

I left a crucial piece of myself at Tilicho Lake.
A bit of my ambition,the kid who wasn’t afraid to dream big. 
My purity.

I left behind my biggest insecurities in Tanzania.
But sometimes I hear them whisper to me.
The calling of my past mistakes. 
The kid who was afraid to be himself because he was always the ridicule of the worst hates. 
I’m happy I grew past that mind state.
But me going to sleep at 5am this past week reminds me that those demons are just 6 hours worth of mistakes away.

I left my lonely heart in Borneo. 
And traded it for a new one filled with something special.
But I’m the hare to my loneliness’ turtle. 
It creeps up on me when I slow down and let my hand off the throttle. 

All the work I put in to loving myself has seemed to fracture. 
My blackness has been used as a weapon,
and my age a shield for everyone at work to hide behind when customers start to snapping. It leaves me burning out before i can love myself again in the next attraction. 

Maybe I used up too much of me. 
Giving the pieces I kept after my travels to anyone who needed them.
Maybe I gave too much of myself away and now there’s none left for David Simmons.
Should I call back myself from the places I’ve attached to my glimpses of happy.
The blurriest blotches on my memory. 

Discarding my portions of me for those who take it for granted is no longer the move in 2023.
The winter fits me best because it reminds me that lonely and cold is maybe who I need to be.