This ish is harder than i thought it would be. But here goes my post for the day.

Bump that I Don’t Wanna feel No More by Reggie though.

I’ve always been drawn to the places that make me feel the smallest.

Mountains. Rainforests. Plains. The ocean.

I can’t tell you all the emotions i’ve been through while stood out at our Ginesh Himal viewpoint in Chapthok. Watching the top of the world tower down on me. Listening to Chance’s coloring book. Wondering when Frank was gonna make new music. While the world stretched out in front on me. Crying. Laughing. Writing. Singing. Dancing. Watching the sun dance along the mountain ridge as darkness approached. Then watching a thunder storm rage over the range as a true showing of nature anger left me in awe as the thunder boom shook the whole country. I was small.

Or what about the time in Borneo. When Perry, Fakey, Ken, Kunor, Adam, (maybe a few others) and I woke up early to see the sunrise. How awe-strikingly beautiful and overwhelming it was to see the forest come to life. The hum of what I’m guessing were cicadas turned to a belting opera of a song. The sun start to Bob Ross the sky with colour and light. Three hornbills squawking overhead. Flying off into the distance. The flowers start to stand. And I feel small. Lost. Aware of my surroundings. Thankful to the jungle spirits for letting me have that moment. Thankful that I was spending time with good people. Thankful for the love of my life that I was, at that time, interacting with in our earliest stage of speaking. Small.

The time I think I hallucinated a tree walking the plains of Tanzania. We were walking in this plain for a couple hours. And the mountains on the horizon wasn’t getting any bigger. I saw an Eagle fly by (there’s a picture somewhere so i know that existed) and i was thirsty as fuck cause water was hard to come by. Clean water even harder. And I thought i saw a tree. I just remember asking if we could take a break under this one tree. And the person next to me asked what tree. Could they have been hallucinating that there wasn’t a tree there. Probably not. But damn i was exhausted. Thirsty . Low down. Fit. Hot. Wanting some damn water. *Man i want some water right now, lemme fo to the fridge*. But yeah, i had to slow my breathing. Focus on my steps. one Step. One breathe. One moment at a time. And when we got to our campsite best believe it was the hugest relief. Just happy to have the chance to get off my feet. Then that night in my sleep i was attacked by fire ants. I woke up irritated as ish. But then i remember where i was. I was in their world. Rude to sleep on top of their home. And just had to remember I’m such a small part or a global ecosystem.

‘Man scrap that. Bump that Fye Fye by Tobe Nwigwe that mans spews pure energy and Black familihood to a tee.’ I’m hype.

What about all the times I’ve rose to the ocean. it’s the place that’s saved me the most. Chaplin bay. Watch hill park. Flatts inlet. Bermuda has some of the most peaceful and inviting water anywhere in the world. But the world is mostly water. It touches every part of this damn place. I can stand at the edge of a cliff and it would swallow my whole if i fall. But as i look out i realize how small i am. That my horizon is not anyone else’s. Both metaphorically and literally. I see the waves and i’m reminded to look up to the sky and give thanks to the sun and moon. For life and guidance. To God for being that G. And for the universe for taking it easy on me so far. I wonder what waves someone small like me can make. Or do i need to be as big as the moon.

Probably not. As long as the people i love most can see the ripples of whatever i step into We good.

As long as the one I love. Can ride the waves with me. And support me in the lows and highs. We good. and long as the waves carry me forward I’m good.

And it must be okay to be small.

To not know my place. But maybe my place is to be lost along the bigger things. Forever wandering and exploring and expanding myself.

And through every big thin i encounter I carry something new with me and i eventually become big in my own right. And i can be a big thing to something in this world.

I really just want to spread positivity to everyone i know. As always I’m here for anyone reading this. And its always love.

Post S: I’m gonna put on some Audrey Nuna to end the night.

P. script S: im not reading over this bih. Pure red lines and mistakes prolly but we in here day 3/7 .

P.S.S.S. Take a look at some random post related pics in a way