25.

As my 26 th year of life comes to close. I’m happy to still be in here.

During these last 8 or so years I’ve learned quite a bit about myself. Trying to figure out what works for me and what doesn’t. I still haven’t been able to find my “purpose” but I’m sure one day I’ll get it. What I’m here to do.

This year has been strange.

The year I’ve had the most “time” for myself in recent years. Has been the year I’ve made the least amount of time to actually connect with myself.

The year I’ve moved away from the ritualistic things that were forming me.

How I long to sit on Darrell’s Island in front of a fire.

The peace that meets me there.

The yearly opportunity I gain to let the fire capture me. As we become one. Not worried to dodge the smoke and my pupils and the flames become dancing partners.

Something within the fire takes a portion of my problems.

And holds them there for me.

Until it dies down.

Remind me that even though we might burn out another flame can always rise. Or that through the ashes new life can form.

And that was me. Slowly letting go of pieces of my past. Burning them. Losing them to the ashes. Coming out the other side a newer me.

With newer peace.

Shared Burdens.

New friendships. Because sometimes around a fire you talk too much. Or listen too much. Or barely listening at all as your mind drifts through the starry skies. Or you stare onto the fire. Wondering how amazed the first humans must’ve been to come across such a phenomenon.

I imagine in a past life I was on the battlefield. Fighting my demons wielding Light-bringer or some ish.

We Inchea.