For a long time I’ve felt angry.

Unwanted.

Unheard.

Unappreciated.

All separate emotions that we’re very weighted by themselves. But once mixed, became destructive.

They Lead me to hate myself. And possibly to hate the world for making me feel that way.

And i say the world because that’s what you had become.

My world.

All my energy and time and passion was poured into you.

And i didn’t feel the reciprocity.

But I’m glad.

All of this gives me a chance to relearn myself. And maybe better yet. I can continue to learn you. To love you. All while learning to be my own World.

And through love lost and pain and destruction caused maybe We can grow a bond much deeper than love can describe.

Where we focus all our energy on ourselves. And thus we know when we have to address things with each other.

To think back and analyze all the times we fought would be crazy. I don’t even remember why we argued half the time.

We was just fed up.

Two different styles of communication. Or non communication. That led to never working things out. Never discussing things in depth.

I need to learn to forgive myself.

We’ve been through a lot.

And thanks to that i won’t give up on myself even though i’ve fallen short countless times.

I’ve found rock bottom this past week. Been scraping by day after day. And then i found out there was an even deeper level of hurt and pain below that.

I want to reach rock bottom again. So i can find my path to recovery.

I love you wholly. I love you to the ends of the universe and back.

But now its time to do that with and for myself .